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Politics and Activism

Bernie's Sassy Little Tongue

What does Bernie Sanders' flamboyant lil licker have to say now?

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Bernie's Sassy Little Tongue
CNN Next

Thanks to some pause-button happy member of the Bernie Sanders campaign camp, we have this gem of our democratic socialist rebel-rouser giving a squinty raspberry (while some super cool sunglasses-on-head-probable-vape-god in the back captures the moment to throw on his snap story). Some might say the senator is wetting his whistle so that his lips are ready to drop some knowledge during this interview with CNN or maybe that he's trying to re-taste the Atlanta fried chicken he shared with Killer Mike back in November.

I think he's blowing a raspberry –– right at those who think he can't win.

Bernie nearly won the Iowa caucus over frontrunner Hillary Clinton, coming short only by about 0.2 percent of the delegation equivalency. This shows that he has a fighting chance, which could only be strengthened by his projected win tomorrow at the New Hampshire caucus. Important to note about this near draw is that Bernie swept 84 percent of the youth vote and 54 percent of some of their parents in the 30-45 year old range. Mrs. Clinton's major victories came with the Baby Boomers (aged 65 and up) at 69 percent and 58 percent of their friends and children aged 45-64. This could put you and your mom under Bernie and Hillary (respectively) for the sake of scale (or for a Bernie Sanders Dank Meme Stash meme).

The Bernie campaign has held the distinction of being one of the only things in the 21st century to get millennials off our (awesome) wheely computer chairs aside from Chipotle trips and Lumineers concerts. A fire has been put beneath us to try to guide where this country will go in 2016 in an incredibly polarizing way — each of the major parties is completely split. There are many Republicans who support the far right frontrunners Donald Trump and Ted Cruz, and those who seek a moderate alternative but are disappointed by the John Kasichs and the Marco Rubios who can’t seem to deliver the fierceness needed to hold their own. To the left, there are the Hillary Democrats who see Bernie as too far to the left, unelectable, or unable to one day work with the curreently Republican held Congress. Then there are the revolutionaries: the newfound democratic socialists who quickly learned what the hell that ideology is and were even quicker to tell their friends all about it. The ideology carries such momentum and contagiousness that it spreads easier than Nutella. That kind of power could possibly swing this election in a way that couldn't have been predicted. So what does that say about Bernie's sassy lil tongue?

Underneath his firmly pursed lips lies a tongue ready to raspberry, one ready to mock the playground bully who wants to play house all the tie so that he can improve his plastic home's market value in the name of democratic socialism. His frosting colored licker wants not to berate, but to unite under its ideology. That little pink Laffy Taffy tongue is not simply a weapon of mockery but a symbol of strength.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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