We start every semester with an overload of introductions, small talk and long awaited reunions while all around us there are other people doing the same. I’ve found that disinterest appears among acquaintances and sometimes becomes predominant in the surface level conversations. So then how do we stop the train of monotonous boredom? By choosing to care more about what people have to say.
Healthy conversation rolls smoothly between talking and listening, (and if we’re lucky a dash of anecdotal humor). That balance of communication is the foundation of friendship and a huge part of how we show affection. Truly listening to the people around us is a way to show support and care because time is something we can’t just replenish or take back, and investing it into the people we care about is a deed that actively shows love. People recognize this, and become more willing to connect or build relationships on a foundation that’s honest and considerate.
To practice I usually relay information I’ve heard so that I remember what they’re trying to convey and they’re also affirmed that I’m listening. For instance they’ve just told me that they went to Hawaii this summer and their highlight was snorkeling; I’ll store that information, and when they’re finished speaking I’ll summarize their thought and possibly push further with a question about the snorkeling specifically. This leads to a conversation with momentum, building on itself instead of bouncing back and forth on a surface level. After all, as humans we desire intimacy in all sorts of different levels, and intentionally listening is a great way to grow amazing relationships!
Confront the overload
My mind is often at full capacity when I’m engaged in conversation. I try to practice intentional listening because I find a certain gravitation to people that truly absorb what I’m saying. I can feel their love being poured out. But to be fair, it would be strenuous to maintain intentional listening equally amongst everyone and sometimes there is just too much going on externally. One of the problems that I know we can all can claim is burnout. In a simple explanation, burnout occurs when we spread ourselves too thin amongst the community, or keep our gears running longer than we should. Very interesting things start happening when we engage in the aforementioned; we just don’t act like ourselves anymore. You may think I’m just referring to the introverts out there, but were all capable of experiencing both a hyper and hypo-social lifestyle. We can deal with these problems in a lot of different ways: some need alone time in order to digest and recollect thoughts before being able to continue healthy interaction, but that’s not true for everyone. Prepare for burnout and spend time recharging your batteries, because not everyone can be 100% all the time.
