My junior year of college, I was not in the stats books. I didn't record a shot on goal, an assist, a touch, or even a minute of college soccer. I stood by the bench and cheered on my team as we made it to the final four of our conference tournament with no help of my own.
I am a bench player.
But I am not injured. I was medically cleared two years ago to resume normal activity and was just never able to come back as the player I was before. I walked on to my college's varsity soccer team the spring of my sophomore year just praying for a roster spot. I came in knowing I would probably never enter an official college match, and that was perfectly ok with me.
I am still part of a team.
Being a bench player sucks, I am not going to lie. It's hard putting your ego aside and watching from the sidelines while others play their hearts out in front of you. But you are not just some bench warmer. That is not your role on the team, even if you are not contributing to the score line.
Minutes do not define an athlete.
Because what the records will not show is that while I never stepped onto the field, I was still in attendance at every game in uniform, standing, not sitting, on the bench and screaming at my teammates to keep battling. I was at every weight session, all through preseason conditioning and every three hour practice busting my ass off even though I would never get in a game. It made everyone better around me and encouraged them to keep going. If I could do it, then they could.
I am still part of a team.
I have a uniform and a number even though it's never used. I have a locker full of sweaty clothes and shoes because I still practice every day. I go to AT when my injury acts up. I have a progress report to give to my professors and a GPA to maintain or else I am ineligible to practice. I suffer through the same long bus rides and corny jokes made by the coach as everyone else. I am just as much as a player as the one withe the most goals or the one with the most minutes.
My role is to encourage and to inspire. I work hard so everyone around me gets better. It doesn't matter that other schools, players, or even other students in our school will never see my hard work because my team does. They are the ones that matter, they are the ones I work hard for.
I get to be part of a team. I get to touch a soccer ball every day after class. Those seem like just little things but in retrospect those are the things that keep me going. Many players do no get the opportunity after high school to play the sport they love. I celebrate moments like that instead of dwelling on my stats.
I did not enter college athletics for the glory, I did it purely out of love for the game and for the love for my teammates. I may not be inaugurated into any hall of fames, but I am still vital to my team. That is the athlete I want to be remembered as.
I am a bench player, but that does not make me less of a teammate.