The popular FOX comedy show "Bob's Burgers" stars the Belcher family: Bob, Linda, Tina, Gene, and Louise. The family owns and operates a burger restaurant below their home. Across the street is the store's rival, Jimmy Pesto's Pizzeria run by the Pesto family: Jimmy, Jimmy Jr, and twins Andy and Ollie. The Pesto family has one unofficial member, a bartender named Trev. While the two patriarchs are constantly bickering, or participating in "pissing contests" as they call them, their oldest children consistently work around romantic feelings for each other, and the twins and Louise remain close friends. However, to assist Jimmy and Bob in determining which family truly wins, I have decided to help them out.

Parents

Bob Belcher vs. Jimmy Pesto

Both of these men are premier restauranteurs. The Pestos seem to be better off -- there is no indication of the Pestos being chronically behind on rent as the Belchers are. Jimmy is typically more successful than Bob is, as he has more customers and is better liked by their landlord, Calvin Fischoeder.

However, Bob is above sabotaging others to get what he wants and genuinely cares about his children, unlike Jimmy rarely knowing where they are or using the twins as shields (though Bob used his as snipers, so neither won for that). The winner of this round is Jimmy Pesto due to paying the rent on time.

Belcher: 0 Pesto: 1

Linda Belcher vs. Trev

As Jimmy Pesto has separated from the children's mother and she has not appeared in the series, I have used the bartender, Trev, in her place. Trev frequently hangs around with the Pesto family, going as far as being their fifth member in the show "Family Fracas" (similar to "Family Feud"). Trev rarely speaks for himself and typically does whatever Jimmy asks him to, while Linda has no problem speaking her mind.

Linda is a avid singer, though not a skilled singer. Linda is also an excellent mother to her kids and supports them in most decisions. For this, Linda is the winner of this round.

Belcher: 1 Pesto: 1

The kids

Tina vs. Jimmy Jr

Tina and Jimmy Jr are the same age and are in several of the same classes at Wagstaff School. Tina has had romantic feelings towards Jimmy Jr. for years now, going as far to state that she has logged over 3000 hours fantasizing over a relationship with him. Their fathers' rivalry kept them apart at first, but over time the two parents allowed their children to be friends.

Jimmy does not always reciprocate Tina's feelings; usually only expressing said feelings when someone else is expressing interest in her. He rarely interacts with his two younger siblings, unlike Tina. Jimmy Jr. enjoys dancing and wrestling, spending time with his close friend Zeke (who calls him J-Ju). Jimmy previously wore braces and headgear and now speaks with a lisp. This is a close battle, but due to Tina's closeness to her younger siblings, she wins this battle.

Belcher: 2 Pesto: 1

Gene and Louise vs. Andy and Ollie

As the Pesto twins do not have two distinct personalities, I decided to lump the youngest Belchers together. Gene is the middle Belcher child and the most outgoing. He is confident in himself and his abilities. He enjoys playing with his Casio keyboard, taking a particular interest in fart sounds. Gene has an imaginary friend named Ken who is 28 years old and albino.

Louise, the youngest Belcher, is known for her pink bunny-ear hat that she wears constantly. When her ears are stolen in one episode, she experiences eye twitches and impulsive behavior. She is the most cunning of the Belcher children and tends to use her siblings as pawns.

The Pesto twins are never seen without each other. Ollie is the older twin and Andy has longer hair. They do everything together and scream and cry when they are forced to work apart. The two are obsessed with their bond as twins, going as far as holding hands constantly and feeling the others' pain. Due to the Belchers having their own feelings, opinions, and personalities, the Belchers win this round.

Belcher: 4 Pesto: 1

The Belchers have won this war, only conceding one point. The Belcher children have different personalities, but are very close and best friends. This shows, in the end, why the show is called "Bob's Burgers," not "Pesto's Pizza."