First of all, I want to make one thing clear. This isn't Trump's America, it is ours. Unfortunately, he is in charge. So I am here living in a country that is very much mine and that does not matter at all now.

I would like to point out that I have had a fairly privileged life. I live with both of my parents, we have always had a nice house to live in whether we owned it or rented it. We have always had two cars for the family, my dad has a steady job, I have been able to go to school and further my education in college, I always have food to eat even if I don’t really want it, I’ve had the opportunity to work for myself, I have clothes and shoes that fit me and aren’t worn in too much. I would also like to point out I am a straight, white, female. I have so much privilege that I often overlook. Just because I do have this privilege doesn’t mean that I am not scared as hell about the next four years because I am.

Ever since Trump announced his campaign everyone thought it was some funny joke. He is a reality TV star and businessman, and now he's going to be president? Slowly throughout his campaign things got darker, weirder, harsher. We saw a side of Trump that was just mean. This then brought out a side of America I thought was buried long ago. The ugly heads of racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia and so many others were brought to the forefront of his campaign.

He used fear tactics and absurd ideas to make this country great "again," as if it wasn’t already great to begin with. He slowly moved ahead in the game and when it worked I was appalled. I sat in my dorm room with tears in my eyes as final votes came in. I stared at the blaring red staring back at me from my computer screen and suddenly I understood. I understood what so many people before me have experienced. Living in fear just because of my x, y, or z. In this case, fear because I am a woman, fear because of talk of removing health insurance that I need, and fear that suddenly all the efforts we have made to move forward were suddenly shot backward.

I can sit here and explain all the reasons I am afraid of Trump and his presidency. Never mind the fact that suddenly rape culture is an admirable one and grabbing women without consent is okay. I could mention that I am terrified for my LGBTQIA+ family and friends that their rights and safety is suddenly at risk. I could mention that things he has said about disabled people. I could mention all of the talk about stripping away Obamacare and suddenly myself and my family will be out of health insurance. Including my mother with health issues and my brother with Multiple Sclerosis. You all know the things he has said. It is everywhere. Especially his Twitter.

I'm not gonna mention too much. I am just here to put it into the world for the people who voted for this man. I am a woman. I am now living in fear that someone will think it’s okay to grab me and touch me without my permission. I am scared what is going to happen to my family and friends. I am just plain scared. So if one more person tells me to just “accept it” because he is president, “get over it” because what is done is done, or ask me why I am “freaking out” I will tell them this.

Try having your innocence taken away, after actually being grabbed and touched, then have your president brag about doing the exact same thing. Then you hear a guy at school say that girls are just trophies to be won. Then ask me why I carry pepper spray with me. I dare you.

I am scared and I am allowed to be.