“I use to try, try so hard.
Try to change and rearrange to paint a perfect picture
Color in the lines.
I was so weak.
I aimed to please, down on my knees.
I begged to fit in…lost in my own skin
Why did I try to fit in when I can shake ’em up?
I am fearless.
I am bold.
So go ahead and swing I can take your hit
No matter what I’ll never quit.
I am confident, I am brave, I AM.”
I originally wrote this post a few months ago when I was somewhere in the sky thousands of feet above who-knows-where when the lyrics of this song started to play. The song is called “I Am” written and recorded by my best friend Tessa earlier this year. Tessa is an amazing songwriter so the lyrics speak for themselves without my assistance, but I wanted to try and relate the song to my own personal life.
The first verse talks about a time in which the majority of us can relate too. That moment when you were so caught up in trying to be someone else, that you ended up forgetting how to be yourself. Been there, done that. Not being invited to things, not being the first picked, not being the freshman that all of the upperclassmen wanted to hang out with. That burning desire to be a part of something and doing anything and everything to feel….wanted. Most of us have experienced something along those lines, and have felt the unwanted feeling that actually comes with it. Personally, I never wanted to be apart of the “in crowd,” but I do know what it’s like to look at yourself and compare yourself to them. Being around them you automatically feel the need to sit up straighter, brush your hair and act a lot “cooler” than you actually are.
After much time comparing myself to many different people I came to the conclusion that I’m just weird, and I am SO okay with that. Weird as in I am who I am. I think my jokes are funny when they probably aren’t. I like to wear big t-shirts and wear my hair in braided pigtails. I eat mayonnaise on my pretzels. I eat way more ice cream than I should (it's my favorite food group). I don’t like pizza that much. I laugh ALL of the time. I'd rather be singing a song or writing my thoughts out in a journal than playing a sport. I am who I am.
I have made it my personal mission to be the person that the chorus of this song talks about. I strive to be FEARLESS, BOLD, BRAVE, and CONFIDENT in who I am, in Jesus Christ. Because ultimately my confidence and who I am doesn’t come from other people. It doesn’t even come from myself. It comes from Him. So my advice to you today is to not live your life searching for acceptance, but to live it being happy with who you are. Embrace who you are and LOVE who you are. Be brave and strive to make the world a better place because if anyone can, YOU can!
