One of the hardest truths I've ever faced is that I'll never be cool.

I'm not a complete outcast and I have many friends. I'm even in a sorority. I know I'm very lucky, but being 'uncool' is a frustrating status that has taken me my entire life to deal with and understand, and I know I'm not the only one that has faced the same issues.

What is "cool" anyway?

If you asked me when I was 14, I would have said it was the girls who had the long, shiny hair and lived on the lake. At 18, I would say the girls with older boyfriends who bought them Four Lokos and took them to prom. If you asked my brother or my mother, I'm sure they'd give you completely different answers.

Cool is relative.

It's the mystic persona we wish to obtain, but probably never will. Usually, it means being rich, popular and beautiful. Being cool is to be better than everyone around you; to be the one everyone wishes they could be. It sounds vain to aspire to be such a person, but for much of my life I was a wallflower and ignored.

I had very low self-confidence and acted as my own worst critic. The idea of having people's positive attention thrilled me because I couldn't give it to myself.

I was the kid who was always deep within herself. Adults said I was 'mature for my age', and maybe I was. I followed in the footsteps of fellow bottom tier teenagers like Molly Ringwald's character in "Pretty in Pink" and Cady Heron before she joined the Plastics. The only difference is that there were no cute boys who swept me off my feet, and I graduated high school without a Hollywood ending.

I prayed college would be better. I decided to go greek.

I wanted to get into the 'cool' sorority, where the girls were beautiful and rich, and boys wore their function shirts like badges of honor. I wanted to be top tier and cool. I'd finally be better than all of those girls who I envied and maybe they'd look up to me.

I soon found out I wasn't meant to live amongst the Greek gods. I wasn't given a bid by the "top house." Saying that now sounds like such BS but at the time my heart was broken. I just wanted to be the best, just this once.

The sorority I did get into isn't the most fabulous one, but the difference is that I felt at ease and happy. I met friends on the very first day I was there. I slowly started to realize I was home.

The sororities I dreamed to be in seemed more cold than cool, and I felt like they lacked the sisterhood I was so blessed to be surrounded by. Yes, we were a little goofy and rough around the edges, but I can proudly say my sisters are truly amazing people. Today, I love my sorority and don't wish I was anywhere else.

I slowly started to feel comfortable and content. I wore my letters with pride and when people said I was in a lame sorority I rolled my eyes. It took me being initiated into my sorority and finding my people to realize being cool was overrated.

I decided I was done doubting and hating myself for being different. There was nothing wrong with me for being me.

It was ok to be a little awkward and to like different stuff. I didn't have to think of myself as weird for liking documentaries over romcoms. I like my hair short and my books long. I think Chacos are dumb, and I drink my coffee black.

The thing is, there are millions of people like me.

We beat to our own drum and are happier for it. I found people who were special, fun and exciting in their own ways, and I realized they were happy because they were focusing on themselves.

To be fair, it's ok to fit in. Joining a sorority is way of fitting in. In my opinion, there is a difference between finding like-minded people and sacrificing your own likes and personality in order to fit the mold of a group.

To join one of the 'cool' sororities, I would have had to alter myself in order to fit in. There is a lot of beauty in joining a group of amazing people, but it is so worth it to wait until the right group enters your life.

I'll never be cool, and that's fine. I'll never be the prettiest, the skinniest, or the most popular. Handsome men won't beg me to go out with them.

Instead, I'll be happy and true to myself. I'll surround myself with people who care about me and help me to build a wonderful life. If people don't like it that's fine.

As long as I'm happy with who I am, I don't plan on changing.