Are you the oldest or youngest of the family?

Some people know this fact, but most people do not know this: I have three younger brothers. All three of them are teenagers and they can be a huge pain sometimes. Also, after my mother and father separated, my mother met someone else. In this relationship, I have gained two more teenage (step) brothers and younger (step) sister. Whether blood or not, I love them all the same yet they make my job as being the older sister a challenge.

As you can tell, being the oldest in this crowd is not an easy task. There are some difficult days and there are some days that can seem like the best days ever. Having this many siblings has taught me things that will be helpful in life. Some of these lessons you may have already found out.

Check them out:

1. You learn to share.

I cannot express how much I hated this! I was the oldest child growing up. I was the only girl for eighteen years. Why would I have to share with my brothers? They were boys. They did not need my stuff. Mom and Dad had to be the unfair ones and explain to me why I had to share. They explained to me that my brothers look up to me and they want to do what I am doing. Also, I will eventually share my stuff with someone else in the future. Whether a significant other, possible future offspring, or just someone needing to borrow something, there will be someone that you will share with.

2. "Life is not fair!"

This is the best argument that I could come up with when I was six years old. Sadly, this one line may be the most important and most life altering lesson that a child can learn. Although most people learn this, the oldest child in family will generally learn this statement before their siblings. Some of the things that I would get in trouble for would have a different result when my brothers did the same thing. My parents were learning their rules while I was growing up. The boys knew this too. So, they would push limits to see how differently they would get into trouble. This frustrated me so often.

3. Set an example for your siblings.

Have you ever heard your parents saying, "They look up to you. Act right."? Normally, the answer is yes. Eldest children have the problem that their parents want them to have manners, be responsible, do well in school, be social, and be interactive. Not knowing this, the oldest child has a lot of pressure pushed on them to act a certain way. This pressure is not even necessary because many of the younger siblings will find themselves and act however they want. This is normally different than the oldest sibling.

4. Be inclusive with your siblings.

Parents always want the oldest child to let their younger siblings "play" with them and their friends. My parents lucked out. My two youngest brothers were best friends and did their own thing. The oldest of the three was (and still is) my best friend. We confide in each other, spend time with each other, and help each other when needed. Also, many of my friends are also friends with my brother. Normally, we spend time with our friends together. Including your siblings in activities is helpful in the long run. If I was ever in a problem, my brothers would respond and help me out before anyone else would.

5. You are the leader.

Being the oldest helps build traits that are important for leaders to hold. You must learn to be focused which helps when you have easily distracted siblings. Confidence is key in being able to influence siblings into doing what you want. Also, when you are giving advice and are confident, siblings will lean to trusting and "holding onto every word" that you tell them. Being honest with your siblings helps you create trust and keeping the trait of honesty with others creates a trustworthy bond. For example, if a manager trusted you, they would give you more important tasks. The list goes on. Each of the items on the list is easily accessible and practicable when you are the oldest sibling.

My mom gave me the nickname "Drill Sergeant" when I was little because she was amazed at how well I was a leader when it came to my brothers. In high school, I joined the JROTC program and eventually worked my way up to the highest ranking position in the program and was leader to all the other high school students. Many of them looked up to me and were friends with me. My brothers helped me become the person who can accomplish goals as a leader.

6. Teach skills and new ideas.

Each of my brothers and I had different approaches and reactions to school subjects. I excelled in all subjects without any struggles. One of my brothers is dyslexic and he has trouble with the different aspects of English however, he is a pro at figuring out mathematical problems. Another brother is decent at school work. My youngest brother has issues with school. He despises the classes and the homework (even more than the classes).

Knowing how each of my brothers react to school, I was the one who always helped with their homework. Practicing reading and writing with the oldest brother helped him create tricks and tips to pass the English classes however, he still has some issues when it comes to reading. The youngest brother and I would sit down for hours going through his packets. I figured out how to make the information fun for him using different incentives which helps him get through all the work.

With the previous "tutoring" that I did with my brothers, I can easily determine how people focus and the patterns that they utilize to help them learn subjects. My best friend and I had an algebra class together, and he struggled in the class. So, after the teacher finished the lesson and we were able to work on our problems, I would go through the problems with him explaining how to solve them while wording the explanation a little differently. It seemed to click with him and two other boys who sat in our corner of the room. To this day, he still admits that I am the one who helped him in math.

7. Teamwork is key.

How many people hate working in groups? Group projects will never go away. There will be group projects in middle school, high school, college, and even careers.

Learning how to work in a group of four with my brothers helped me prepare for the group projects that I had to face in high school and the projects that I still have today. If I can work with my brothers on a project, any group is possible. My brothers were the worst group members to work with when they were all together.

8. Learn how to manage frustration.

A house that is full of all males is terrible. Being one of the few females in the house was not easy. My brothers would do things just to annoy me and see how I would react (They STILL do this!). They knew exactly which buttons to press. Fighting and arguing with them never worked. That only fueled them to continue their actions. Managing my frustration and staying calm annoyed them more than it annoyed me. So, they would eventually give up and find something else to do.

Now, I can go through the day without issues with classmates, professors, or coworkers. Any frustration that I have would be contained and calmed without an outburst.

9. Welcome to being the elected lawyer of the family.

Although my passion is being an international lawyer, the process of being a lawyer was introduced to me at a young age. If my brothers and I wanted something, I was the delegate who would talk to the parents. My brothers would listen to my argument and nod in agreement or say, "Yeah."

I was able to reason why we should be able to do something to the point that it made sense and was difficult to argue against. Also, it was a vice versa situation. I discovered that I was able to argue and reason my way out of getting us in trouble, as well.

10. Being the encouragement that they need.

My brothers, sister, and I go through this often. Any activities or events that my siblings participate in is my priority. I encourage them to follow their dreams and do well. One of my brothers was in archery a couple years ago. He was great at this sport, but he had some issues with grades. Now, he works on getting his grades up and is thinking about rejoining archery.

Another brother participated in JROTC Drill Team with me, and we both worked hard and cheered for each other when we competed. My little sister loves playing with hair and I willingly let her tangle my hair in unimaginable knots (The talented child got a comb and two different types of brushes stuck in my hair back-to-back one night!). This helps encourage her to continue playing with hair and creating beautiful up-dos. Even the smallest act can encourage and show others that you care. Whether in academic affairs or other extracurricular activities that my siblings participate in, I will always cheer for them and be there to motivate them.

So, what did you learn from being the oldest child? OR...What did you learn from being the youngest child?