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To The Man Who Dared To Wrap His Hands Around My Neck

Forgiveness not included.

Rachel Mergen

Apr 22, 2018

University of Wisconsin Branch Schools

184

To The Man Who Dared To Wrap His Hands Around My Neck

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I’ve debated the idea of writing this over and over again in my mind over the past few months. I have examined the fact that I am on the path to recovery, and I know that doing so would just bring up memories of the past. I knew though that those memories would eventually come to mind no matter if I wrote this or not.

I wish I could mail you this or something, have you actually answer. I want your response. I want the truth. I want to know how anyone could actually believe such sins were rational. But I can’t. You won’t respond. I won’t be healthy if I sent such a thing, so I will write it here.

How dare you, my abuser, hurt me in such a way. How dare you believe that I was the right person to turn into your victim. You formed trust within a mind just to rip it to shreds. What would inspire you to do just an evil task?

Were you always so bitter? Were you always so capable of hurting others? I sit here wondering if I missed some important part of your past that pushed you to become this person. Did somebody manipulate your mind like you manipulated mine? Did you feel a similar pain? Were you good once, but someone tore you to pieces just like you harmed me?

I wonder if you are haunted by what occurred. I wonder if you feel guilty for having lied to people about what happened because I know that you remember every single moment and feeling clearly, probably better than I do. Are you simply numb and emotionless, or are your sins eating you from the inside out? Do you feel bad at all, or do you believe what you did was okay?

I wish I was strong enough to forgive you like some maybe be able to, but I really do not. I cannot move on, as I have to face the tremors of the trauma each day. It was an earthquake to my life. I will never be able to pretend like I have grown from the damage or that it has benefited my life. I am bitter. I am hurt.

I am not giving up though. I am not letting someone as horrible as you end my life, by ruining my mind. I am working hard to become better, at least to the point that I was before the incident.

You will not win. Did you really believe for a second that you would?

Love,

The Girl You Strangled

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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To The Man Who Dared To Wrap His Hands Around My Neck

Forgiveness not included.

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No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

What is the current minimum wage at the federal level?

What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

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Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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