Like most people my age, I want to find someone that I call my own and finally establish a firm romantic relationship. Yet, unlike most people my age, I have yet to experience it at all. Sure, I've had a date here and there and I've had more than enough crushes to last me a lifetime, but it doesn't change the fact I have yet to have a relationship, and it's eve started effecting me emotionally.
How so? Well, when you're constantly surrounded by people in relationships when all you want is one for your own, you start to convince yourself that you're not good enough for anyone or that you're doomed to die alone. Sure, it may be an overreaction and I'm consistently told I'll find someone eventually, but that's become nothing more to me than people's kind way of telling me to shut up and get over it. When you tell yourself over and over again how worthless you are, it starts tearing you down and it's only worse when no one cares or treats it like a joke.
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Again, it may be an overreaction to many people, but I've met many more people who feel the same way about themselves and that it hurts when people don't take it seriously. People tell me that relationships aren't worth it, relationships are overrated, and, while it might take awhile, I'll find someone for myself in due time. Then why do people keep coming to me for relationship advice?
For something so overrated and stupid, why do people immediately think the girl who has never been in a relationship would have all the answers to their romantic problems? To many people, going to a single friend for advice is a sign of respect and trust, but for the one giving the advice, it's another reminder that you're not in a relationship and people don't mid dragging you into their drama! Even after my numerous objections to talking about other people's relationships and how I just want to find my own first, they keep coming to me like I know everything.
Even my single friends wanting to no longer be single want me to hook them up with someone so they can no longer be single! Believe it or not, in combination with my own emotional problems, being the one advice giver for all your relationship issues makes me feel even worse about myself. Why? Because it's a constant reminder of what I don't have and what you want me to help you save. Am I flattered? Sure, but please stop.
While we're at it, please don't invite me to hang out with you and your boyfriend or girlfriend because I'll be sitting there awkwardly watching you two have a low-key date with background company, aka me. You'll be holding hands, kissing, cuddling, and there I'll be waiting for the proper time to leave without offending you. While you didn't intend for it, it comes off like you're just rubbing it in my face that you have a partner and I don't. Even after my numerous mentions of wanting a relationship and being depressed over not having one, you still do this? Why?
Despite what people think and say, not being in a relationship makes me think so lowly about myself that it is effecting me emotionally and mentally. It's not just about finding a boyfriend; it's about feeling like you're actually worth someone's time and feeling like someone believes you to be an important part of their life. When people take it like a joke or tell you to get over it or even keep telling you that "relationships" don't define you, it doesn't help. It makes it worse because all that goes through my head is that my problem means little to you, but I should make saving your relationship a top priority whenever you ask.
The only advice I have left is please stop. Stop telling me it will happen eventually because my mind tells me that it should have happened by now since it has to everyone else. Stop telling me relationships are overrated when you always talk about yours. Stop taking my problem like a joke or brushing it aside because you're just confirming what I've already told myself; that I am not worth someone's time. Stop telling me relationships don't define me when all I really want is to be accepted by someone who will care about me as much as someone has decided to care about you. So just please stop.
