You typically hear people complain about being single, being the third wheel or being the only one in the friend group who is not engaged, married or in a committed relationship. I have been fortunate enough to not know that feeling for the last three years, as I was in a committed relationship myself. Most of my friends were single, complaining about "the single life" while I silently enjoyed ignorance. I have now found myself in a position I never would have foreseen a few months ago, complaining about "the single life" while all my peers are getting engaged and married. Through these complaints, I am learning to be content with where I am and take advantage of this single time instead of just complain about it. Here are a few reasons why being single is not so bad after all:
1. I am learning to love myself.
Personally, I've been scraping the bottom of the bucket of self-esteem for the past two years and battling depression and self-hatred. Being single has forced me to reevaluate who I am and remind myself of all the great qualities I have. I am falling back in love with who the Lord has created me to be, not the person I became to try and please others.
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2. I need to remember my identity.
Going along with the last point, I forgot who I was. Being single is allowing me the time to be myself, explore new avenues and develop even more skills and gifts. Furthermore, it is allowing me to establish my identity in Christ and make Him the center of my heart, mind and intentions. I am remembering who the Father, my creator, says I am.
3. I need to reevaluate what I want in a partner.
Being single and realizing that I now have to start back at square 1 scares me half to death, but also gives me the chance to review and determine more clearly what I want and need in a partner. With defining my own identity again, I am also deciding what qualities complement me and what qualities clash with me. Being in my last relationship taught me a lot about love that I never knew before and it was mostly filled with wonderful times. Being single is teaching me what I did not have in that relationship and what I need to be waiting and looking out for. I'm honing and adding to my list of what I want so that I do not settle in any future relationship.
4. I need to stop worrying so much about ending up alone.
Being single has challenged my fear of being alone and my separation anxiety. I am an introvert whose love languages are touch and time spent, so being with no one has brought those fears to the forefront again; however, I am working on abolishing those fears and recognizing that it's okay to be single for now and that doesn't mean I will be alone forever.
5. I have weaknesses to work on.
I have so many weaknesses I need to work on... from my own insecurities and fears to ultimately my lackluster relationship with God, I have a self to improve upon. Marriages built on mistrust and fear will only go as far as fear allows them and the best time to work on my marriage is before I'm married. So, while I am young and preoccupied with work, school and friendships, I will work on myself for my future husband and for myself.
I am single right now and I am learning to be content with my status while challenging my spirit.
