I was reading this book the other day and there was a scene where the main character was at lunch with his friends who were all planning a vacation which was quickly turning into a couples vacation. Everyone going, but him, was bringing a significant other to jet ski, canoe, and relax in a hot tub with. Somebody mentioned that he wasn't bringing anyone and he grew flustered and embarrassed, as if he were alone. Buddy, you aren't alone. I and literally millions of others are right there with you, and it is absolutely okay.
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I didn't always believe this. A few months ago, I was hosting a sleepover with a few of my friends. We were having fun listening to music, gossiping, and eating our weight in copious amounts of junk food. Then, someone mentioned something cute their boyfriend did recently and it just started this conversation where the only subject was boyfriends and how perfect they were. I had nothing to contribute and just sat there thinking about how single I actually was. Everyone around me was so enthralled in exchanging stories that they didn't seem to notice my lack of input. I started thinking about my breakup with this guy I had been dating for while and where it went wrong and what if I did this one thing, would we still be together and would I be as happy as the girls around me? I was becoming so miserable I actually started to cry and asked them to stop talking about their happy/perfect relationships.
I've come a long way since then. I no longer have self doubt about not being in a relationship and actually enjoy hearing my friends talk about theirs. I get to see how happy they are, but just because they are happy doesn't mean I have to be sad. I smile with them and feel their warmth. I even love hanging out with my couple friends and seeing how cute they are when they are together. How did I get from point A to point B some may ask? Well first, I accepted the fact that I was single (because the first step is always acceptance). I realized that I am way better off without that ex than with. It was toxic and I deserve much better (and so do you!). Then I realized another thing, "single" shouldn't be a status but an adjective- an adjective to describe someone who is strong and independent enough to be on their own.
After all the acceptance and realizations I was having the time of my life. I am a 20 year old college student who just started living her life. I became more spontaneous. I tried new things with new people or did old things I loved with those that I loved. With three other friends, I went to Niagara Falls, something I have always wanted to see, and not only did we see and get misted by it we also zip-lined over the falls. It was crazy fun. 10/10 would recommend! Enjoy these pics of us being dorks in front of the falls breathing Canadian air.
I got a summer job waitressing with my cousins and ended up loving the place, the people I worked with, management, and the food (which is always a plus when you work in the food industry). Even though it was a job, I still had a blast working there everyday, and never dreaded going in because I knew I would have fun and make money (double win). On days off I would coordinate with friends and we would go on mini adventures to find the best sunset spot in the area. When driving, if I passed a nice spot I'd pull over and take in the beauty of the world (because god damn, it is beautiful). I even went to see Sausage Party by myself because no one wanted to see it and that wasn't about to stop me from seeing what was the funniest movie I saw all summer. And that's important. If you take anything away from this article, let it be this: do the shit you want to do and don't be afraid to do it on your own. When I was in that theater, I wasn't even paying attention to anyone but myself. Okay, maybe I gave the group of young teens dirty looks when they were being extra obnoxious but for the most part I did my own thing and that night definitely made my top ten memories of the summer.
If you're reading this and you are fresh out of a relationship, don't worry if coming to acceptance takes a long time. It took me a full year to get to this point, and I'm glad I had to struggle getting here. Now, I can fully appreciate how awesome it actually is doing whatever the hell I want when I want without asking permission or accommodating for anyone else's needs. I am 20 years old. I should be selfish and so should you. Spend time on yourself for yourself- it is the best investment you will ever make.
