Being so shy is never a decision, it is a reaction. Someone who is shy does not have to be shy all the time, it could be only when your around new people or people you are uncomfortable around. There is that slight fear of being who you truly are. So many factors could be the result of never over-coming this shyness you had as a child, or for developing it as you get older. Here is my story of dealing with this throughout my whole life.
If you used to be kind of outgoing and not giving a care in the world as a kid, then that is something you probably dream to have back again. It may not be that easy to get that back. As a kid, you do not have to worry about other people because nobody cares if you are different or if you do something stupid. That was always the best time of my life for sure. I was a little closed off as a kid, but I was not always alone, and I liked to meet new people occasionally if someone I knew was with me. That changed drastically once middle school started.
Everyone knows middle school is the worst years of your life. It is during the awkward stages of our lives where we all think we are better than the others and when people start to develop an ego. It's also where we all find out who our true friends are and who decides to not want to hang out with you anymore. I was always scared of speaking my mind ever since middle school because that was when all my classmates decided it was okay to criticize people on every little thing, like their weight or clothes, etc. I thought that I would be safe if I never talked to any of them and stuck to myself, now I wish I got out there more and made some new friends before high school came.
In high school, it started to get a little better for me. I was talking a little more, but I would never start conversations, I would let people be the first person to talk. This was also when people started to point out that I am shy. I started to work as a lifeguard, which was not something I thought I'd ever do since I'm not one to talk to strangers let alone yell at them to follow rules. I would go to work and at least once every shift I had one of my coworkers would mention how I am so quiet and shy. I tried not to show it on my face, but those words would hurt me.
I hate being called out for being shy because I don't choose to be this way.
Once I was able to understand things going on in the world around me, I always heard about people making fun of others behind their backs and I never wanted that to happen to me, so I thought it would be best to not talk to anyone, so they had nothing bad to say about me. Once college started, I became a little more open and am talking to a few more people than I used to be.
I wish people would finally understand that I did not choose to be this way, this was how I was brought into this world. You should never feel ashamed of who you are, so do not ever let what people say about you get to your head.
