As someone who has been quite shy and quiet since childhood, I can confidently testify on behalf of the antisocial community.
For me, being shy means more than a fear of speaking in front of large groups or only saying a few words in a conversation. For me, being shy includes not approaching other human beings because of an irrational fear that they will suddenly grow scales and breathe fire if I am to disturb them by giving a simple "Hello" or "How are you?" As someone who has a perfect track record of quietest kid in the class, it's safe for me to say that socialization is not my forte.
Interestingly enough, I can talk to teachers, coworkers or those older than me with more ease than I can my own peers who I see everyday. I represent the unacknowledged, the seemingly invisible and the "I just don't have anything to say" people out there. So if you are tired of hearing the same agonizing questions: "Why are you so quiet?" or "Why don't you just talk more?" understand that you are not alone. There are plenty of comments that you hear on a regular but don't get the chance to reply to and justify yourself for because of the invisible rope keeping your tongue tied.
At some point while working in a group during class, someone is going to tell you that you're so quiet, as if we were delusional enough to have thought we were yammering away and giving speeches on the meaning of life the whole time.
Being shy is difficult in many ways. There are certain foods you'll never eat in front of others. There are certain people you'll always struggle to talk to, and there are those unavoidable awkward moments of trying to small talk. The shyness is something that masks my true personality because it works as a sort of defense mechanism or barrier that will protect me from the fire-breathing people in society. But the worst part about the ordeal is that it's not a choice.
Ask any shy person if they like being timid and they will always say they wish they were more outgoing and sociable. Being shy is not a choice but a curse. It is the chain around one's ankle that can't be broken. Attempts to break out of my comfort zone always conclude with a string of endless thoughts swirling around my head, telling me all the things I should have said or shouldn't have said and that my smile was off or I talked too fast or too slow and that there are countless things to regret. And all these thoughts occur even after a two minute conversation with the employee working the drive through window.
Despite the struggles of being known as nothing more than "the quiet kid," I don't let it hold me back entirely.
I still join clubs and apply myself to the things that I'm interested in because as the shy kid, I have always been myself and have never let others push me to change just to fit in (partly because I'm too afraid to talk to others anyways). Being shy feels like a terrible curse but at the end of the day I understand that I have the power to mold my situation into something better. Whether it takes weeks, months or even years, I know that if I slowly work towards expanding my comfort zone and communicating with others in small ways, some day I won't have to be known as nothing but "the shy kid."
