Being Raised By Two Moms | The Odyssey Online
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Being Raised By Two Moms

The daughter of a gay woman.

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Being Raised By Two Moms
Kalyn Stephen

There is not a single thing I would change about growing up the way I did. My moms are the best people, and they have taught me so many wonderful things about life. They are my favorite people, and I will love them until my last breath. I could write novels about how much I appreciate my moms for all that they do for me, but instead, I’ll just list the essentials.

They taught me the importance of finding someone who was right for me, regardless of who they were.

They always told me growing up that they did not care who I ended up with, no matter if they were “black, white, blue, purple or even a guy or a girl," as long as they made me happy. This mindset really made finding love so much easier. I was never worried about if the person I was crushing on would be approved by them or not. I remember listening to some of my best friends complain about how they could not date this certain guy because their mom did not approve and thinking how blessed I was to have the best parents in the world. All they cared about was that I was getting loved the way I deserved to.

They raised me to always do my best, but that it was OK to lose.

It kills me when I hear people talk about how gay people are not qualified to raise children, because my moms did an exceptional job, in my opinion. I’ve always been an honor roll student who has never gotten into trouble. I was secretary and treasurer of Beta Club for one year each, treasurer of Science Club, captain of the cross country team and an active member of many other clubs. Now that I’m in college, I still strive on doing excellent in school and volunteering for countless organizations. I would not have accomplished all that I have in life if it had not been for the way my moms raised me. Even when I did not achieve every goal that I had hoped to, they taught me it was OK to fail, and that all that mattered was that I did my best.

They taught me to be accepting of others.

It does not matter who a person is. As long as they are a decent human being, they deserve to be treated as such. Gay, straight or whatever they are, they deserve to be accepted. When I asked my older sister for her help on this, her words about this point were that they taught her how to raise her children to see the world differently and appreciate it.


They taught me the value of love.

I would rather not be loved at all than be with someone who did not love me the way my moms love each other. They’ve been together for 12 years, and I can see the love they have for each other. The day they were finally able to legally show their love was one of the best days of my life.

They taught me to love who I am and to be true to myself.

It didn’t matter if I was different from everyone else because being the black sheep was considered normal in our family. They taught me that if someone could not accept you for who you were, then they really did not need to be in your life. I never felt like I had to pretend to be someone I am not around them. It was comforting to know that if I ever felt a certain way, they would accept me and encourage me to be that way.

These last few points are a little less serious and emotional, but I feel as if they are still equally important to appreciate.

We never ran out of any girl products.

I ran out of shampoo? No problem, they each have some I can use. Razors? Shoes? Anything you can think of, we have plenty of it.

We never had to worry about the toilet seat being left up.

This point is possibly the most important to me. I grew up with not only my mom and stepmom but also two other sisters, so the toilet seat was never left up. Now that I am older, my boyfriend comes over often, and I have to remember that not everyone leaves the seat down. I have a bruise on my butt to prove that.

The one thing they never taught me was how to explain our family to other people. For the longest time, my best friend since first grade thought that they were just roommates because she did not understand it. I honestly find it pretty funny to watch other people’s confused faces when I try to explain to them that I have two moms. But for the most part, everyone I tell has always thought that it was fantastic and that I was so lucky to have them.



Although I usually refer to my mom’s wife as my stepmom, she does not feel like a stepmom to me at all. My dad has a new wife, and we do not see each other or really even speak, so to me, my second mom is just that: my mom. We even gave her a special day so that they don’t have to share Mother’s Day. Being raised by two strong, independent, crazily stubborn women gave me more inspiration for life than I ever could have received by just being raised in a “normal” household. I would not give up my two moms for all the dads in the world. I love you guys, and thank you both so much for loving me unconditionally.


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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