I’m not funny.

Just kidding, I think I’m hilarious!

But how does one become an expert comedian like myself? Well, my friend, let me introduce you to the fun-filled world of puns! The thing about puns is that they are all about word play. Really good ones can come out of nowhere, in real world dialogue, while others are within simple, albeit funny jokes.

“How do you organize a space party? You planet.”

The best thing about puns is that they are all around us.

When you go to the beach, you say hi, or wave to people. You sea what I did there? Yes, I did it on porpoise. Don’t be Jelly (fish). I know, I know, like “oh my Cod water you doing?” Puns come naturally even though I do them for the halibut. Did I shell it to you yet?

Or the forest. More than tree trees to make a forest! It wood be nice to have a lot of puns in all situations, just go with the flow and branch out from your comfort zone. Look for the root of the great jokes!

Even at a blood drive, I have a plethora of plasmatic puns. I know, it’s unbleedable. Just a quick tip: when getting your blood taken, calmly “bleed in, bleed out” and dress comfortably, don’t be vein!

“Where do vampires deposit their money? A blood bank.”

And yes, I have had some puns so horrible, they aren’t good. Like, a bad pun is usually a good pun, but some just can’t be saved. It may make sense in your head, but when leaving your lips, it’s enough for somebody to go, “huh”. Trust me, they will appear in your pun career.

More importantly, I have found some people who emanate the essence of punitude perfectly, even strangers I have only met once.

For instance, something I will always remember is that, when I went with my friend to pick up a puppy, a little English Bull Dog, the breeder, a woman, was talking about the best features of the breed. “smart, loving, sensible.” Wait for it, wait for it. A man that worked there was standing nearby, and with a small laugh he said; “A sensible dog; a sensi-bull dog!”

It was beautiful.

On that note, I have more than (ca)nine reasons you, the blessed reader, should enjoy puns within your life.

“What is a vampires favorite fruit? A neck-terine.”

Although people tend to groan at my jokes, I know they like them in their own way. It is about the way you present the material that really helps to push it into people’s hearts. In my case, I laugh at my joke, because I truly think they are funny. And even though I may receive what I have deemed the “pity laugh”, I believe it isn't a pity laugh at all!

Try them out! Puns aren’t for everyone, but they are fun to share with others. The idea is to look for an over reaction, because, chances are, your audience actually likes it! Take it from me, your Pun-fessional!

Why did the girl like oranges? She found them a-peel-ing! HA! Orange you glad I ended the article with this joke?