I mean it when I say I love my body. It's the only one I have, it's beautiful and it loves me back. I'm consistently told that I shouldn't be proud of it, that I should make it shrink. Not only by society in general but in the career field I have decided to pursue. I am told it will get me more rejection than not. It will limit the roles I do get. That the industry is hard and picky and competitive.

They'd be 100% right. Chubby girls, fat girls, plus sized women...we don't get a lot. Melissa McCarthy is great and absolutely hilarious, but I'm almost 100% positive she can do more than the industry lets her.

But that's exactly what I don't understand. Everything everywhere is trying to sell this image of what women should look like and it's a terrible double standard because there are a plethora of plus sized male actors out there consistently getting jobs. People are all diverse, I don't really want to get into the industry's diversity issue but let's just say that Moonlight should have not been as groundbreaking as it was in 2017, we should've broke that ground a while ago. The point I'm trying to make is that the film industry, and most of the theater industry has a standard for women's bodies, even though there is no such thing as a perfect body because every single body is different no matter how much money you pay to make it look like a Kardashian's.

We shouldn't still be policing women's bodies this day and age either. Listen, I can still be beautiful or sexy or whatever and fat at the same time. They're not mutually exclusive. And no one can come and preach health to me (OR ANY OTHER FAT GIRL) because 1. You aren't my (or their) doctor. 2. You actually can not tell a person's health by looking at them. Meaning that some thin people are less healthy than me. And even if they weren't it's none of your business.

Like I said, I love my body. I've got a chubby belly and love handles. I have flab on my arms, and thunder thighs with stretch marks and cellulite. I have a double chin. I have boobs that aren't perky at all and I'm still so beautiful. Like, my body is amazing, and when I take care of it right it takes care of me right. It doesn't matter what the number on the scale is. It doesn't matter what anyone finds flattering. What made Ghostbusters (2016) so refreshing was that women were allowed to EXIST in it. They were allowed to look unflattering, they were allowed to have gross slime all over them, they were allowed to dress in baggy sweaters and overalls, they were allowed to have double chins. It just shows that slowly we are more than certainly progressing.

But being a plus size actress can be hard. Luckily YSU's theater department is very inclusive in its casting, but I won't always have this privilege. Which is fine, because I don't want to be involved in any production or film that tells me I need to lose weight or be skinny. I know directors who claim to be feminists who have told actresses to lose weight. It's not okay, you don't get to decide. You're not a feminist if you do that either, so stop trying to make yourself feel better for your fat-phobia. It doesn't prove dedication or commitment or talent. It doesn't prove anything, talent does, body does not. I'm going to work to help change that narrative, to promote body positive ideals and diversity in the theater and film industries because I'm not the only plus size girl who isn't interesting in counting calories and trying to be what society deems acceptable.

And if you're offended, good. My body is for me, and no one else. I get to decide what I do with it, and it DOES NOT determine my talent or my dedication. It does not limit me. And I will be successful regardless.