If you have ever seen “Princess Diaries,” you are probably familiar with the quote that Joe tells to Mia as she is getting into the limo: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” This quote actually comes from Eleanor Roosevelt, but a lot of people still remember that Joe the limo driver said it to Mia after getting mocked for her new look by her best friend.
Similarly, being offended works the same way. No one can offend you without your consent. You will only be offended if you allow yourself to be offended. In our society, nowadays, everyone is offended by everything. Simply turn on the news and you can find something that will make you mad. If you go on social media, I can almost guarantee that you will find something that you won’t like. But being offended is a choice we each make, and one that can greatly impact our lives.
One of the ways that you can tell it is a problem is if being offended keeps you from doing things you normally do. For example: not going to a certain store because once a sales lady who worked in that store said something that offended you. Or not attending church because someone who is in your congregation has offended you in some way. Or even not going to your best friend's party because someone who is invited has offended you in the past. If you are living your life around those who have offended you, it is time to re-evaluate your priorities.
Was there ever a time when you and a friend were in a fight, and only when you sat down to resolve it there was a realization that no one had intended to offend the other? This happens more often than people think. Often times when we are offended, the person who offended us did not even mean to! Yet we let that anger simmer and fester inside of us until we are convinced that the person who offended us is the worst kind of person. We need to be better at being slow to anger and slow to judge.
My husband is a great example to me of this. He is extremely patient with me (which is saying something because being 38 weeks pregnant makes you very irritable) and hardly ever gets offended by others. I once asked him how he did it, and he told me that when someone does offend or upset him, he says to himself “I forgive (insert name here).” Once he says it to himself enough, he truly does forgive that person and can move on. When I have been offended, my husband will have me say that saying out loud several times, and at first I want to scream: “This does nothing!” But the more I say it, the truer it becomes. I don’t write this article to say that we should never be offended by anything ever because that simply won’t happen. We are all human, and will all get upset and offended at times. What I am suggesting is being better at handling those feeling of anger and being better at choosing to let them go.
We live in truly disturbing times in world history. Bad things happen every day. Every day we make basic choices that affect our day. Choices to be happy instead of sad when it is raining out. Choices to be productive when we feel like being lazy. But we must remember that being offended is a choice. Being angry and upset is a choice. And once we start choosing to give someone the benefit of the doubt, to let our anger go, and to forgive those who we have let offend us, the world will be a better place. Maybe not the whole world, but our world.
