I know what you're probably thinking. "Being intentionally single?? This girl is crazy. I'm not trying to be single for the rest of my life." And I get that. I really do because frankly, I also don't want to be single for the rest of my life. I hope to one day find the man of my dreams who is everything I want and more and then we'll get married and ride away into the sunset. But the fact of the matter is that no matter how much I want that time in my life to come, that time is not now.
One of the biggest lessons I've learned while in college is that there are some things that you just can't rush. It's something that I struggle with every single day because I'm the type of person who likes to set out a plan and stick to that plan. Sometimes I wish I could ask God to send me a list of things He wants me to do, but that would be too easy, wouldn't it? There's that fantastic quote by Woody Allen that says, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him you have plans." I have never known something to be so true in my whole 20 years of life.
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Adjusting to being single is hard. I know because I too struggle with being single and the idea of waiting for the right person. It's human nature to long to find a companion who you can spend the rest of your life with. But the fact is that being single isn't all so bad. Being in this season of my life, I've decided that I'm going to be intentional during my season of being single. By that I mean, being intentional with Christ. I decided to come up with a vision of what I wanted my season of being single to be like and work at it everyday. I want to know, understand and begin pursuing God’s purpose for my life. It's been challenging, but it has allowed me to see things in a whole new light. I realized that I need to change things about myself be and things that I need to get straight before I even think about getting into another relationship. And the first thing on my list is rekindling my relationship with Jesus. I'm ashamed to admit it, but within the past year or so I have put my relationship with God on the back burner.
Breakaway is a non-denominational weekly bible study that I attend on campus at Texas A&M that never fails to bless me beyond measure. The last two weeks of Breakaway have been part of a four week series entitled Single/Dating/Engaged/Married. This past week's message was about singleness. One thing that really resonated with me was when Ben said "What we want is not always what's best for us. What's best for us, we don't always value and appreciate." For example, I can search to the ends of the earth for a relationship but if Christ isn't at the center of it, what am I doing? How can I expect a man to love me and all the nasty, shameful things I've done when he doesn't know what loving the Father is like? And vice versa, how can I love a man to his core if I haven't even gotten my relationship with Christ right?
Your season of being single may be short, seem like it's never going to end, or somewhere in between but I want you to remember this: bask in your singleness. Learn how to love yourself and learn how to love Christ. Learn how to let Him into your heart and work hard at the relationship you two have before you try to bring someone else into your life.
It's worth the wait. I can guarantee it'll be a fun, loving, and fruitful relationship.
