How Being In An Abusive Relationship Taught Me How To Love Myself
Start writing a post
Entertainment

How Being In An Abusive Relationship Taught Me How To Love Myself

I refuse to believe his words anymore.

40
How Being In An Abusive Relationship Taught Me How To Love Myself
Maria Hancox

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Being in an abusive relationship doesn't just mean a boyfriend physically hurts you, it can be emotional and it can even be with someone who isn't your significant other. The definition of a domestic relationship includes someone you live with, someone you are in a relationship with or someone that you have had a child with. While the relationship I was in wasn't physically abusive, it still had a serious impact on me and affects me to this day.

Young love is naive, you think that no matter what your partner does they are doing it out of love. This could not be farther from the truth; love should not hurt, love is not jealous, love should be innocent. My boyfriend was my first serious relationship, so I was new to love and thought that I knew everything there was to know about relationships. I saw his jealousy as him caring too much, his harsh words as him just having a bad day, and I thought girlfriends were supposed to submit to their boyfriends and do whatever he asked of you because that is love, right?

Hearing those harsh words repeated so often made me start to believe them. I honestly thought I was a piece of meat, a sex object, useless besides for my body. He conditioned me to believe these things through repetition and power. I told myself that he loved me, everything he did was in my best interest but I was wrong. Your partner should not tell you that you're worthless, make you feel like if you didn't have him you wouldn't have anything, that without him you are nothing.

Now that I am out of that relationship I see the serious problems he left me with. I think that if a guy is rude or blatantly mean to me that it means he is interested in me. When someone tells me they are only interested in me for my body I see it as normal, a compliment even. But this isn't how people should think about relationships. Relationships are supposed to make you happy, they're supposed to be with someone that you can completely be yourself with. You should not feel ashamed about anything around them.

I'm still learning how to love myself properly. I still have days where I can't even look in the mirror because I hate the person staring back at me. But I don't let his words control me anymore, I know that what he told me isn't true and that I am worth more. I try to put myself first in relationships, and if I don't like something I speak up because I matter despite all he made me believe.

Relearning how to love yourself can be very difficult, but I am willing to take the time on myself because I am worth it. His words weren't true and I am not going to live by them any longer.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

71123
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

132889
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments