This generation is pretty messed up. No one dates anymore. By dating, I mean actually going on a date, not just "hanging out." No one wants to commit to a relationship because they are just in it to hook up. This makes trying to find "the one" extremely difficult. A boy will show interest and even say, "I like you," or, "You are beautiful," but their true intention will be just to hook up with you and have you give them attention. It sucks. I know. Maybe I have seen too many romantic comedies, but this is not the way it should be.
I also have a big problem with people in college saying, "Oh I have a crush on this person," or, "I really like this person," when they have never even talked to the person. I call this a "celebrity crush." You might think this person is attractive, but you know nothing about them. Maybe it's just me, but I cannot actually have feelings towards someone unless I know them pretty well. I want to know someone's favorite sports, or songs; just random things before I can see something with them. I am sorry, but I truly believe that physical attraction can only go so far, you have to love someone's soul. I realize that my life will never be like a Nicholas Sparks movie no matter how much I try, but is it too hard to ask for old-fashioned dating to come back?
Here are old-fashioned dating habits we should bring back:
1. Ask someone out on a REAL date.
"Let's hang out tonight" is not asking someone out. Make it clear if its a date or not.
2. Put the phone away.
I definitely have a problem with this, but I think if you are with someone you truly care about, you won't feel the need to check your phone every three minutes. It should be all about getting to know each other.
3. Having the "What are we?" talk.
I know, so awkward...but it is so important to be on the same page as someone. Too many times people just assume, and in the end, someone will be way more invested than the other and get heartbroken. Also, be honest about what your intentions are. Don't just say what you think the other person wants to hear, be honest.
4. Establishing boundaries.
Again, awkward, but so necessary. Again, you cannot assume that someone will be OK doing certain things. You must have that super uncomfortable talk.
5. Talking in person.
Foreign concept, right? Well, you need to actually communicate face to face. Snapchat and texting can only go so far especially if you live on the same college campus. I understand that you cannot be with someone 24/7, but if you see each other on campus and it's awkward cause you guys have only been Snapchatting...well, there you go.
The most important aspect of a relationship (in my opinion) is to seek God first. The more you both separately pursue a relationship with God, then the more you will grow stronger together. Have someone who loves God, respects you and loves you. Good luck ladies. God is the best love story writer, so trust in God that he has got your back!
xoxo-Court
