It is funny how once New Year's comes around, people start to make their New Year's resolution and I can guarantee that almost everyone has had "lose weight" or "exercise more" on that list at some point. Unfortunately, most people either fall short of that goal, or they don't last long. There are definitely those that can succeed, but it seems rare.

Through the years, I have made that same resolution and guess what! I never really took the steps needed to accomplish that goal. Surprise, surprise. However, in these past few years, I have come to learn that I can have great self-control and restraint. It is something that I have had to train myself to be and it has been an exasperating journey, to say the least.

I have never really been the type of person to set a New Year's resolution because I know that they never seem to endure. 2019 was one of the years that I didn't set any resolutions but losing weight had been something that I had thought about doing. As I mentioned previously, I had never taken the steps to lose weight or try to be healthier because I held the mindset that I could never do it and it would be too difficult., let alone worth it. I mean come on, food is just too good.

As the year continued to go on, I came to terms that I was unhappy with the way that I looked, ate, and felt. I wanted to see if I could actually lose weight and become healthier than I was. I had seen a family friend begin to lose weight and start to be healthier and I realized that anyone can do it if they try hard enough. So, at the beginning of July I started my "journey" as one would say and now as 2019 comes to a close, I have been exposed to new beliefs about myself and have learned so many things that I wouldn't have learned otherwise.

Through this journey, I have learned that I really can do anything as long as I set my mind to it and have supportive people around me. I could not have lasted this long had I not had the support system that I have. I have learned that you should not let doubt stop you from doing things. In addition to that, no matter how cliche it may sound, you are capable of more than you think. It all comes down to whether you really want it and are willing to take the steps needed.

This journey has not been easy, and I have definitely had downfalls and doubts. In my opinion, I think it will always be difficult in some way, but you learn how to deal with it and it becomes easier in some ways. Thoughts of quitting have entered my mind on many occasions, but I have continued to push through despite negative thoughts constantly being on my mind. On a more positive note, I have learned to love myself. Not because I have become "skinnier" (although that is a plus), but rather that no matter what size I am, I need to learn love myself in spite of that. This time in my life has taught me that self-love is extremely important and comes from more than what I look like. This can be a daily struggle to remember, but this experience has taught me how to better handle these feelings.

If you make a New Year's resolution or have things that you want to do more of, I say actually do it and take the steps needed. Don't let negative thoughts and seeds of doubt stop you. You may just surprise yourself.

Here is to 2020 and all that it brings. Thank you 2019 for all that you have taught me.