America has come a long way when it comes to diversity, but I feel we still have a long way to go. It is like we are stuck in a black and white world, no pun intended. As Americans I feel that the grey is just pushed to the side and discredited. It truly isn't fair, especially if you are one of those who are stuck in the grey area.
Growing up biracial was so confusing. I truly feel bad for my parents, especially my mother. I always had so many questions about why I am the way I am and why I never really fit in. A variety of those questions she couldn't answer and would never be able to fully answer for me.
The easiest way to explain what I am, is that I am half white and half black. However, growing up most people just perceived me as black, or Hispanic. I never really understood how I got mistaken for Hispanic, but it happened a lot, so I will blame it on ignorance. Hardly ever did anyone take the time to ask me what I am, or ask what I would like to be called. They just assumed.
By people assuming what I was I always got put into this box of expectations. I hated it. The thing that I found most surprising about it, was that more often than not it was blacks who would put me into this box. That group of people was also the group who would judge me the most by not fitting into their social norms and stereotypes.
By being biracial, I consider myself to be bi-cultural as well. It is not my fault, or anyone's fault for that matter, that I spent more time with my white family and in turn follow more of their social norms and attributes.
Because of how I raised, much of how I acted wasn't very "black". Blacks always get angry if others try to stereotype them, but they stereotype each other and expect each other to live up to these stereotypes. (I do not believe all black people do this or feel this way. This is all based off a majority of experience. If you are not this way please do not take offense.) Growing up I distinctively remember being ostracized by a majority of the black kids at my school because I didn't listen to the same music as them, dress the same as them, or talk the same as them.
It was so frustrating for me. They would come up to me and talk to me about their new favorite rap song and I would tell them I don't listen to rap, or I like country/alternative stuff. After I would disclose that information they would just give me a look of disgust and walk away. Some would even make fun of me for not listening to the type of music they would listen to.
There would be others who would ask what I was. After I would disclose that I am biracial they would then go on a rant and explain to me how I don't really know the struggle because I am "light-skinned". What they didn't know is we got it worse. I'm not white enough for the racists to like me and I'm not black enough to fit in with the blacks.
It wasn't until college when I was surrounded by a more open, educated group of people did I learn to accept myself. However, I did not accept myself as a biracial, a light-skinned, a white, or a black. I learned to accept myself as me. My skin color and my background did not matter in the grand scheme of things. It is a part of me, it is not all of me. All that really matters is if you are trying to be a good human being.
So, Hi! My name is Marissa and I am NOT biracial, but I AM intelligent. I am beautiful. I am wise beyond my years. I am an artists. I am a nerd. Most importantly, I am perfectly comfortable in my skin.
