After graduating high school and being launched into the "real world," we go to college -- university or community -- get a job, travel or participate in other activities that contribute to us forming our identities and bettering ourselves.
We go from being children, forced to raise our hands and ask permission just to go to the bathroom of all things, to being allowed to say and do what we please. We choose our careers and life paths at the mere age of 18, and learn what it means to be grown.
When I first thought about what it meant to be an adult, I automatically thought about paying bills and living on your own. Having to buy your own groceries, budget your money, go to work nine to five Monday through Friday and enjoy my weekends off.
However, now that I am 20 years old, I am learning just what it really means to be grown, and let me tell you, there is so much more to it than just paying bills.
Being an adult involves having manners.
When you go out to eat or to the store, you will quickly learn who is "grown" and who isn't. Age only plays a miniscule role in determining one's status as "grown" or not.
Being an adult is about treating workers with respect no matter what. It's about calling them "ma'am" and "sir," even if they're only 16 and you're 35.
It's about saying "please" and "thank you" when someone provides a service for you.
It's about being humble and respectful even when you're frustrated with the long line or the messed up order.
Being an adult involves self-control.
When you get your paycheck, after paying all of your bills, do you spend the rest of your paycheck on useless stuff? Or do you save your extra money for a rainy day, and treat yourself occasionally?
When you're in a bad mood, do you take it out on those around you? Or do you recognize your current mental state and communicate with those around you?
When you're mad at your significant other, do you say things to them you don't mean, only to regret all of it later? Or do you vent your anger to them in a healthy way, allowing for open communication?
Being an adult involves forming real, meaningful relationships.
Are your friendships based on gossip and negativity? Are you only friends with them as a means of having someone around to hang out with when you're bored? Or are your friendships based on trust, love and companionship?
Having adult friendships means realizing you will not be able to see them/talk to them everyday, as your adult responsibilities always come first. Having adult relationships is about occasionally checking on your friends to ask them how they're doing. It's about being a positive influence in their life. It's about supporting their personal growth.
It's about both people putting equal amounts of effort into the friendship.
Being an adult involves communication.
Do you just throw away true, meaningful relationships simply because they made one mistake? Do you give them the silent treatment when you're angry with them? Do you hold their past mistakes and insecurities over their heads? Or do you talk to them about the things that bother you? Do you approach conflict with a "let's fix this and move past it" attitude? Are you willing to apologize for your wrongdoings?
Anyone can be an adult. It's not about the legal adult age. I've met people that are grown at 15; I've met people who act like children at 40. Anyone can learn how to pay a bill online. Anyone can learn how to do a job with the proper training, but being an adult involves building your character.
Would you consider yourself grown?
