I was told today that I am doing good things for this world.
Today, I was agonizing. I was happy, but I was agonizing. I was happy because I was making progress in becoming an activist, but I was agonizing because I felt that I wasn't doing enough as an activist. A professor made me pause in my agonizing, telling me something I will never forget. She told me that I was doing good in this world, that even if I didn't see it, and even if, in the end, it didn't change anything, that I was still doing good because I was trying to change the way that things were, for others and for myself. She told me a story of a monk who, every day, went into town and cried about society and the way things were. Someone asked him "Why do you cry, if no one will listen?" and the monk said something along the lines of this: "If I didn't cry, I would be as bad as the world is."
This story resonated with me because I, myself, cannot stay silent. I cannot watch people struggle and suffer and let it happen. I agonize over not being good enough because I do not think that I can change the world. But I know that I can, that I can change my world and if I cry out against it enough, someone is bound to listen. I know I can fight and I can protest. I can stand up for whats right. But I know that I cannot stay silent. I would be worse than this world that is so cruel and distraught if I did not fight against injustice.
But sometimes, my battles are small. Sometimes, my battles exhaust me to my breaking point. Sometimes, my battles end up being lost. But just because I didn't win a fight, or that fight wasn't acknowledged, does not mean it was nothing. Each battle I fight as an activist means something. It means that I fought against oppression. It means that I care enough to stand up against the evil in this world, and if enough people stand up to fight, every battle I fight with them, I will win.
We are not perfect creatures, and sometimes we fail. As an activist, I fail a lot. But every battle matters. If you are an activist and feel stuck, I want you to look at yourself. You matter, and because you matter, what you say matters. It doesn't matter if no one hears you, say it. Fight your battles with a smile knowing that you can change the world. You are good because you care, because you cannot stand to see the world burn, and that makes you a good person. Keep fighting, and stay safe.
