Everyone knows the hardcore people pleasers. You know the signs: She's 100 percent Republican but pretends to be Democrat solely because her friends are.
If a friend calls her stupid, she whips up a batch of cookies and makes a card that reads, "I'm sorry for disappointing you." And despite all her efforts to be liked by everyone, many people disrespect her.
Maybe that's you, maybe it's not. But the odds are you can relate at least a little to the desire to be well-liked. Who doesn't want to feel accepted, respected, and appreciated?
For most of my life, the need to be like overshadowed all my other needs. I was always trying to manipulate perception, adapting myself to receive validation. It was draining and counterproductive, since very few people actually knew me--the real me--which is a prerequisite to liking me.
I've since learned it's actually a good sign if there are some people who don't accept or agree with me.
The hardest part was not being rude, or disrespectful. If I am being honest, I have a very hard time respecting people who don't respect me, or treat me poorly. However, disregarding other peoples feelings isn't something that we should do. 10 reasons being comfortable with not being liked has taught me are:
1. It allows you to be true to yourself.
The biggest injustice you can do to yourself is changing your morals or actions to please the people around you. It's exhausting and pointless. You are letting anyone get to know who you are, which in the end will make you feel empty.
2. It gives you the power to say no.
People aren't good at heart. We love to be nice, and sweet when things are going good. However, when things go bad, we aren't very sweet anymore. It's human nature however to test each other's boundaries. When you are willing to be true to yourself, you are able to say no.
3. You're more comfortable exploring your feelings.
You can stop pretending!! You don't have to hide who you are for someone else's sake. It's such a breath of fresh air to say, "Yeah, I'm scared," and not think twice.
4. Your honesty can help other people.
It's often the least popular people who strike the deepest chord in us. Be unpopular when necessary and push people to be their best. You just may save someone by this.
5.You can freely express your thoughts.
It gives you a chance to listen, without judgement. Even if you deserve the same kindness, you won't always get it. When you do voice your opinion, let your words be kind,but fearless.
6. It prepares you for greater success.
It is often the case where the higher you rise in popularity, the more hate you will get. willingness to be disliked helps you deal with the added scrutiny.
7. It teaches you to offer kindness and compassion without expectations.
It's not difficult to offer compassion to someone who treats you right, but what is more valuable is the ability to do what's right because it's right--not because you get something in return.
8. You can inspire other people.
Being able to pick yourself up time after time, is an uncanny ability. To the people who don't know how hard it is to keep going, you inspire me. You are unique and unafraid.
9. You can use your time wisely.
If you are trying to keep everyone happy, you're playing a losing game. We need to find the time enriching ourselves and others instead of worrying about everyone's perceptions.
10. You can choose to smile anyway.
It so easy to think about all the things that have gone wrong in a day's time.However, it won't get you anywhere. Take the energy that you put into the negative thoughts, and turn them into positive ones. Life will always be a balancing act, learn to teeter in serenity.
