The modern fraternity is a vision for many national fraternal organizations. One that promotes academic success, a positive reputation, fantastic business opportunities, while maintaining a low-risk social profile for its members. A fraternity filled with community leaders who better those around them and have a direct impact on the Greek system in which they reside. A group of men who treat women with the utmost respect, succeed in the classroom all while providing a safe environment for their members.
This is the dream; most national organizations want this from their members. They want their host institutions to recognize their chapters as the best of the best. As a staple of what it means to be an involved student. Socially, academically and professionally responsible: a true example of the modern student success story.
I was part of this type of organization. A bright light in the sea of rape culture, binge drinking and an environment that procures hazing and detrimental environments for their members.
Our fraternity was supposed to be different. It was one of the principles upon which we were founded, and we were just that.
Our chapter was located at the University of Arizona, known for its insane parties and an out of control greek system. We were different. We were a group of guys who killed it in the classroom, assumed leadership roles all over campus and always treated women with respect. A group of guys different than the rest, that many didn't understand. I always got asked, "Why don't you guys party?" "Aren't you the business fraternity?" or "I've never heard of you guys before!" It was hard, but it was the vision we set for ourselves that created this reputation.
We knew that our vision meant things would have to be different. We knew our focus and we were driven to be the best that we could be. We'd have social events and yes, they were fun, but they were never a staple for us. They were a way for us to unwind in a safe and fun social environment. Girls respected us because we respected them. Girls wanted to end up with us in the long run when they got tired of being treated as sexual objects.
They enjoyed the change in being asked about themselves and having the young man on the other side elicit an educated and thoughtful response. They enjoyed not having to worry about being sexually assaulted or taken advantage of. They enjoyed our understanding of the word no and our stout commitment to a national oath against sexual assault. They liked how we had strong values and stuck to them. They were surprised at our drive and work ethic, resulting in high grades.
Other fraternities were beginning to take notice too. They saw us as we began to become successful without getting in trouble or hazing pledges. They saw how we walked with our chests up high, proud to be different, proud to be unique. They began to respect us even though we didn't party the hardest or most often. They respected us because, like everyone else, they had no choice.
The list of our accomplishments over the last two years DEMANDED respect. It demanded ATTENTION, we were the new face of the Arizona greek system.
Here are some of our accomplishments:
Dean Robert Svob Chapter of the Year: 2 years in a row.
2015 Dean of Students Award for Excellence.
2014 Dean of Students Award for Excellence.
Top Overall Fraternal GPA: 7 Semesters in a row.
Top New Member GPA: x3
Top Active Member GPA: x4
Outstanding Academic Success Program Award.
Outstanding Diversity Programming & Awareness Award.
IFC Chapter of Excellence.
Chapter President of the Year award.
Emerging Greek Leader x2
These are just the ones that I can remember. We've won too many to count at this point. All of our brothers did this together, as a team. You'd think we were all great friends; but no, our brotherhood lacked. Our brotherhood was polarized. On one side, you had a group of guys who joined a social fraternity to have fun as well. They understood that the success needed to continue, that the commitment to our values needed to continue. That we needed to stay the same and the social aspect was a reward for all of the hard work that we put in our chapter.
The other half decided that a social experience wasn't necessary for a social fraternity. They wanted to be in a business fraternity. These were the same people which would assume power and demand to be respected because of their position, with little to no understanding of chapter dynamics. Furthermore, once in these positions, they would push personal agendas. Constantly trying to climb up the hierarchy to achieve more and more boosts for their résumé. Brown nosing their way into the national organization.
In the middle of these two groups, were guys like me. Able to see both sides, but understanding chapter dynamics. Understanding you could have safe responsible fun if you had results. While also understanding that without control, the fraternity could head down the wrong path.
Then it happened: the dreaded membership review. On a chapter chartered just two months prior. Why? Because there was a fear our culture was changing. Shots were proposed for parties and this idea was shot down by e-board with a 7-0 vote. Then it was proposed new members shouldn't wear letters and that was vetoed by the chapter as a whole. We believed in equal rights and responsibilities. However, this happened in front of our regional director. With word from him and our own brothers the national office became concerned and decided we had a negative culture. The same culture that achieved so much. The same culture that won back to back chapter of the year awards. The same chapter that was indisputably the hardest working, most driven, most focused greek organization on the campus.
The review took out 35 members, all of whom were hardworking but saw the benefit of a social fraternity. This left only one side: the side who decided they didn't want to be social. They didn't care about anyone but their cliques. The side that brought every mistake that anyone ever made out of the woodworks to cover their own asses. They laughed at them, said they weren't aligned with the brotherhood when they were just as misaligned. None of these guys were bad guys. None of them didn't work their ass off every single day. None of them did real wrong.
Isn't the definiton of brotherhood to help your brothers? If you thought there was something wrong, say something. Help them. Reach out. Make a change. The lack of transparency in executive decisions coupled with the inability to communicate led to this divide. Slowly everything fell apart. That wasn't supposed to happen. Brotherhood is about more than that. It's about picking up your brother when they fall, helping them get back on their feet. Showing them the right way. It's about standing behind them when faced with adversity, standing with them no matter what. We aren't talking about hazing, we aren't talking about rape, we're talking about wanting to have a fun college experience. No crimes were committed, no one was treated unequally, but now 35 of my friends are gone. Another 20 are going to drop. Dwindling our numbers to roughly 40. I sit here and have to ask myself, what's next?
I've spent the past few days discussing this issue with people. They told me I'm wrong. That social doesn't mean social events. That succeeding in every tangible way means nothing if we don't believe every philosophy we're told. If we don't buy in 100-percent then we are wrong. I was told that it wasn't supposed to seem cultish, but if you aren't following the book exactly to one interpretation then you shouldn't be there. That there was only one way of thinking and one way of acting. That interacting with other people wasn't necessary. That the brothers who I spent a year with, fostering relationships with, and living with were supposed to mean nothing to me. That their hard work and their sacrifices weren't supposed to mean anything to me anymore. That I was supposed to remove them from my life for the betterment of the chapter. How doesn't that sound cultish?
You're telling me that the only way to succeed is to believe everything you say blindly? That each chapter can't have a personality? That we need to be what other people tell us to be in every way? That's not too far from saying what we're allowed to wear, determining where we're allowed to sleep, or forcing us to only have pre-constructed thoughts. That is a cult. That isn't a fraternity. That doesn't foster brotherhood unless brotherhood is everyone deciding nearly every aspect of my life. My fraternity worked because we were different. We were unique. We had every religion, race, and sexual orientation. We had a variety of majors and unique thoughts and ideas that lead us to our greatest accomplishments. We were completely inclusive and accepting.
Always having the upmost respect for women, authority, and one another. We had endless successes when everyone told us we would fail. We were recognized as the best chapter on our campus two years in a row. However, we weren't good enough. Everything we achieved wasn't good enough. I was told, by multiple people that we were "Just the highest piece of shit on the shit pile". Multiple representatives of the national office told us this. Because a 4.0 in engineering, or medicine, or law is easy at every school. Because the University of Arizona isn't an ivy league, it must not compete in any major at all. All of our hard work meant nothing if we didn't believe in the strict interpretation of the laws.
Call me crazy, but doesn't this sound like a stark comparison to radicalism? What makes this thought process different than any other group of radical ideology? When can I pick up my AK to force my views upon my peers? Holy hell, this is insane! My fraternity's reaction to the changing greek landscape was to become a radical institution that limited thought and free speech! That ignored every achievement we had, if we didn't talk, walk, and act like we were told! If we didn't exhibit their model man! Im pretty sure some guy in Germany had a good idea of what the model person was too, look how that turned out.
The answer to the changing greek environment isn't to punish chapters for doing things in a safe manner. The answer is to stick by the chapters that get results. We were a model for every chapter on this campus, and nationally. A vision of what a no hazing, no pledging chapter could achieve. What a chapter on a campus filled with alcohol-fueled delinquency could achieve against the odds. Now we're a bare skeleton of what we once were. Our message is broken. The other chapters on our campus have no reason to change, why should they? We were the best and half our chapter is gone. If they're going to get kicked out anyways, might as well go down having the best four years of their life right?
I don't want to be apart of an organization where I'm scared to be myself. I don't want to be apart of an organization where I have to walk on eggshells if I speak out against the authority. I haven't had my interview yet but I'm sure after this I know how it'll end up. It's been a wild ride, and I thoroughly enjoyed it, but I guess being a leader in my community won't be enough. Representing my Fraternity on IFC won't be enough. Achieving a 3.0 or above every semester won't be enough. Saving lives on my campus won't be enough. All because my individuality isn't enough.
I wish the best of luck to my brothers and those who decide to stay in. I guess my fate is up to HQ now. They can kick me out, but they can never tell me who my brothers are. They can never force me to believe everything they say or give my trust blindly. If I'm going out, I'm going out as the same unique, awkward, surprisingly funny individual I've always been.
VDBL,
Speegs
