Discovering who you are can become a daunting task once you realize that your true self doesn’t mesh with the culture you live among. You try to fit in but find yourself being criticized for conforming to society. How can you be authentic when around every corner is someone judging you and your actions?

1. Accept that there are more options in life than the cookie cutter option.

Society has created an “ideal” lifestyle; everyone is expected to fit the mold. Moms are supposed to go to the gym seven days a week while taking care of four children who shouldn’t be anything but angels. Teenagers need to have a 4.0 in high school while playing two different sports and working. College students are expected to have their life figured out and a career lined up before they even finish their first year of school. Assuming everyone can live this way just isn’t realistic. Not only can you be different, but you can be happy being different.

2. Sort through what traits belong to you and what traits belong to the world.

Part of being authentic means doing things because you want to do them. It is important to figure out your motives behind various actions such as the way you dress or what you choose to be interested in. If you want to wear something that goes against every fashion rule created, ignore the stares and do it. If you want to wear something that also happens to be a social trend, do it. You can choose to be different or you can choose to be similar, but make this decision based off of what you want, not what society wants.

3. Realize that you won’t be able to please everyone.

Everybody wants something different in life. Pleasing everyone is impossible because there will always be people who don’t agree with your choices. Let go of judgmental people who don’t deserve a place in your life and work on making you happy. Every choice you make will be judged and once you accept that, being authentic will be an easier undertaking.

4. Remember that it takes time to embrace who you really are.

Accepting who you truly are doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to feel comfortable doing new things, especially because sometimes people you care about won’t approve. Stick with the change. There will be days where what you are doing doesn’t feel natural because you’re so used to conforming. These feelings will pass and it will be worth it.

5. Know that you’re going to be loved no matter what.

Once you start becoming who you were meant to become, you will learn who really cares about you. It is important to fill your life with people who uplift and support you, not ones that tear you down. Find friends and family who support the positive change you’re making in your life; this will give you confidence and assurance. As you are literally becoming a new person, there is a chance you will lose some friends, but with time, you will find new ones who love you for who you are and who you are becoming.

Being yourself requires zero energy because it comes naturally. You will find a sense of peace and happiness in life once you decide to let go of peoples’ expectations of you and grab onto your own aspirations. Nothing feels more freeing than accepting and loving who you truly are.