Don’t sit there and think that being the ‘quiet’ person is necessarily a bad thing. I’ll tell you that it isn’t. I know, many people consider those who are quiet as snobby or stuck up. And who often views us as that way? Those who are loud and outgoing. An outgoing person often doesn’t understand an introvert’s ways, similar to how an introvert doesn’t understand how an extrovert can freely say and act how they want without the fear of being judged.
I’m not saying that being an introvert means you don’t speak what’s on your mind. And I’m not saying that being an introvert means you’re a boring person. I’m an introvert, and I’ve always been one. I grew up with my friends, family and acquaintances telling me to come out of my shell, don’t care what others think, and just myself. But newsflash: being an introvert is being myself. Those comments that people made, the ones about others thinking I was rude for not stating my opinion in a conversation or choosing the back row in class, really stuck with me. It made me think that I was hard to like, and that I wasn’t someone people wanted to be friends with, all because I kept more to myself rather than be outspoken. It took me a while to realize that it wasn’t true, though. There were plenty of times I wish I could have the courage to say something, but decided not to. I always saw it as a bad thing, but I don’t anymore.
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Someone by the name of Susan Cain once said, “Introverts listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror for small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.” And honestly, I couldn’t have said this better myself. I fear small talk, but crave deep discussions, especially when it comes to having a conversation with someone I’m not particularly close with. When I’m getting to know someone, I want them to tell me about their fears and why they scare them, or tell me about their passions and how they came to be. Get me talking about something that interests me, and you’ll be wishing I would stop talking.
I’m not sure how many times people have said, “You’re so quiet!” or “Why are you so quiet?” Usually, these are people who don’t know me on a personal level, because if you were to ask my close friends or family, there’s a good chance they would all say I love to talk. And yes, I do, to the select people I wish to. And no, this doesn’t make me rude. It’s just who I am. If you can’t understand this, then like I said before, you probably don’t know me on a personal level. It’s my decision on whether or not I want to join in on the conversation or just take the conversation in; you don’t need to make comments about it.
One thing that has stuck with me for a while was a comment someone made to me, about how me being quiet and not talking to the group of people I had just met, made us (the person who introduced me to them) look bad. Those words stung me, because I felt as if I wasn’t good enough, and that I was being judged for being an introvert. I soon realized that was such a silly thought; if my personality and who I am makes ‘us’ look bad, well, sorry not sorry. It’s who I am. Accept me, because I accept me. Being an introvert is who I am. Take it or leave it. I’m an introvert.
