What Being An ESFJ Means To Me | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

What Being An ESFJ Means To Me

How Myers-Briggs Helps Me Understand Myself

159
What Being An ESFJ Means To Me
Pexels

I'll admit I'm obsessed with Myers-Briggs personality types. Perhaps (and probably) to a fault. I'll also admit that it's not perfect or decisive. In the words of Captain Jack Sparrow, the 16 personality types are "more like guidelines than actual rules."

Many an hour I've spent scrolling through Pinterest in order to find out how, as an ESFJ, I am supposed to react to something. Often it's correct. Often it's not. The reason I keep going back to it, however, is that it teaches me to give grace to myself. Granted, it doesn't condone bad decisions I make. But it does help me understand why I thought it was a good idea or a good thing to say at the time.

So here is what I have learned from real life and from Pinterest about being an extroverted, sensing, feeling, judging person.

  1. I am fiercely loyal. If you dare to insult my best friend, I will defend them vehemently. Whether it means supporting a friend’s decision to leave a good guy because the timing was wrong, or standing up for a sister if someone looks at her the wrong way, I look out for me and my own.
    The downside: in my haste to be the champion of my friends, I momentarily lose sight of what’s really happening and respond with more intensity and anger than necessary.
  2. I care deeply about a lot of people. I get worried that people won’t feel loved if I don’t greet them exuberantly every time I see them. I get excited whenever I see someone I’ve only really talked to once, and fill with pride if a friend gets recognized for hard work.
    The downside: I give until I’m empty, and dip into my stores of energy that seem to be reserved for other people, instead of allowing myself time to recover. And I view myself as the Great Friend Maker. In the rush to micromanage my best friend’s social life, I forget that I’m not responsible for her and I forget to trust her to make the right decisions.
  3. I want to heal people. I saw a girl crying at a track meet in high school and was incredibly close to going over to talk to her, until I realized it would probably just seem creepy. When one of my closest friends was going through a lot of emotional hurt, I felt an overwhelming need to fix it. Slap on an antibiotic and some bandages, and stay with him until he was okay again.
    The downside: I can’t fix it. And that stresses me out. I can’t let go even if I know there is nothing I can do.
  4. I respond strongly to other people’s emotions. When my Big is stressed, I take on her stress. When my freshman suitemate broke up with her long-time boyfriend, it cut me to the core. No one asks me to empathize that deeply – often my friend just wants someone to listen.
    The downside: I get “peopled out” more quickly than you might expect.
  5. I take the law very seriously. If someone sets a rule, whether a law of the land or a code of conduct expected by my parents or a Biblical command, I feel extremely guilty for breaking it even a little. And although I don’t always expect everyone around me to feel as strongly as I do, I still am shocked by rule-breaking and law-bending.
    The downside: I may come across as judgmental or uptight. And I get way too riled up by people not following the rules and not “playing fair.”
  6. I overanalyze everything. In my desire to get along with everyone and to be loved in return, I think through every sentence uttered and every small gesture. As a result, I expend a lot of energy just living in the past and regretting my mistakes and blunders.
    The downside: It’s obvious, but I’ll say it anyways. I can’t move past things easily and hold on to guilt and frustration.

I have my strengths and my weaknesses, as do we all. And my strengths in extreme become weaknesses sometimes. As Anne Hathaway once said (a fellow ESFJ): "There's something very addictive about people pleasing. It's a thought pattern and a habit that feels really, really good until it becomes desperate."

But I'm still proud to be an ESFJ.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Relationships

10 Facts All People In A Large Family Can Confirm During The Holiday Season

The holiday season can be the best and most stressful time of the year, especially when more people are involved.

554
kids jumping

The holidays are full of lights, sweets, sweaters, and your favorite movies. There's nothing quite like this period from the beginning of December through January. Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Years. The fun of it all.

I don't know about you but with my large Italian family something is always going on during this season. It can be the most wonderful time of the year while also being the most hectic. These are a few things you know if your family is anything like mine during this time.

Keep Reading...Show less
10 things that happen the second Thanksgiving is over
reference.com

To those who celebrate, you just spent an entire day cooking an elaborate meal with all of your favorite foods. You probably ate your body weight in pumpkin pie and mashed potatoes. What happens now? Oh yea, Christmas. It’s time to take out all of the decorations and Christmas themed things that have been sitting in the attic since last year; it’s time to make a reappearance. So, here are 10 things that happen the second Thanksgiving is over.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

18 Things I Want To Do Now That I'm 18

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

4032
Happy Birthday Cake

For the entirety of my high school career, I was always seen as the goody-two-shoes. I never got in trouble with a teacher, I kept stellar grades, and when I wasn't doing extracurricular activities, I was at home studying. Even when I did go out, it was usually with a bunch of fellow band geeks. The night would end before 11:00 PM and the only controversial activity would be a fight based on who unfairly won a round of Apples-to-Apples when someone else clearly had a better card (I promise I'm not still holding a grudge).

Now that I'm officially an adult, I want to pursue some new things. I want to experience life in a way that I never allowed myself to do prior to entering college. These are the years that I'm supposed to embark on a journey of self-discovery, so what better way to do that than to create a bucket list?

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics

The holiday classics that shaped my life

2476
10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics
Flickr

The holiday season is full of stress, debt, and forced conversation. While we rush through the month of December, it's important to take a step back and enjoy the moments before they're gone. Most families love to watch Christmas movies, but these beloved films provide more than entertainment. Here are 10 life lessons that I've learned from the holiday classics we watch every year.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

201833
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments