There is this weird in-between phase that exists between being legally an adult at 18 and actually feeling and acting like an adult in your late 20's. I’m going to call this the “figuring it out” phase. The figuring it out phase consists of a bunch of accomplishments that make you realize how quickly you managed to tackle this whole “adult” thing as well as a bunch of weird struggles and complications that show you how far you still have to go before you can really call yourself an adult (and actually believe it).

You feel like a badass on your first solo grocery trip because you remembered to make a list (and actually bring it with you) but realize the second you get home that you still managed to forget some of the things that you needed for the week. You impress yourself by trying new recipes and having them turn out fairly well but you realize cooking for 1 is difficult and despite numerous attempts, you always end up with too many leftovers.

There are good days where you go to work, hit the gym, cook dinner, and pat yourself on the back for effectively adulting for the day but there are also the bad days where you cancel your plans, order takeout, and forget to pay your bills. Taking on your own finances adds a whole new, overwhelming struggle to your life but it also comes with a great feeling of independence knowing that you are actually taking care of yourself in a way that you haven’t before.

This also comes with some brainstorming about how you are going to pay your rent for the month and some creative meal choices when you have to keep your grocery bills down. You tend to start losing friends who don’t understand or relate to your level of independence but you are still struggling too much to befriend people who have their lives together.

Even though your life feels like a mess at times, you learn so much in the process. Every day is filled with life lessons regardless of whether you have to learn them the hard way or you have to call your mom knowing that she always knows what to do. You learn how to deal with going to the DMV and how to handle the sheer frustration that follows. You discover that vacuuming before you clean off counter tops was just a bad idea and that drinking wine while making dinner can certainly muddy up the process.

All in all, the figuring out phase is complicated and difficult but in the end, it’s a learning process and you are going to miss the little bits of help you get when it’s over. In the end, you learn to love your messy, wonderful life.