I don't remember what I was praying about, but I remember becoming discouraged quickly and angry towards God. God, why do we pray to you? What's the point, I asked Him. It's not like my voice means anything. You listen to me because you like me, not because anything I say matters. You're like one of those big corporations who give out surveys to make the employees feel good about themselves, like they have a say, and then once you collect the reviews, you toss them away. You amuse me, you coddle me but you don't take me seriously. How can I pray when I know my ballot is going in the shredder the minute it reaches your ear? Then it hit me. Like a brick.
Was I being too...too...AMERICAN...about this? Growing up in a capitalist, freedom-hungry block of land may have done more damage to my developing relationship with God than I ever could have anticipated, and upon retrospect, I came up with four traits of the American democracy that could have rubbed the wrong way...
1. The Customer is Always Right!
Strangely, this philosophy didn't originate in the America, but its echo can be heard in every coin that ever jingles and every dollar to unfold. It's all about the consumer; what can we do to make them more comfortable? How can we bring them back to our business? How can we peak their interest in us? What will make them satisfied? People mistakenly believe that the priority of business is money, when in fact the money comes from the people. No people, no money. Therefore, service's top priority is to make the public happy; even businesses with more noble causes like charities or non-profits have to appeal to the masses in some form or another, but as we've all noticed, plenty more money goes to other things than charity. In the end, we all want the wrong things. In Christianity, this is part of the case as well. God is always pursuing us, meeting us where we are, showing us miracles in our everyday lives. He is ever present, and like America, I suppose, He values service, but never to make us comfortable. That is where the American in me becomes very angry. God appeals us in many shapes and forms but unlike many American enterprises cannot compromise who He is in order to suit my wants. Yes: wants. Americans want convenience. God commands hard work; "Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies have no sense (Prov. 12:11)." Americans want comfort. God declares, "If anyone wishes to come after [Him], he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow [Him] (Mark 8:34)." America wants "ME, ME, ME," and I'm afraid that is not compatible with the God we claim to be indivisible under. Everything we do should be done with all our strength, minds and hearts and not for the glory or money of people, but for the glory and greatness of God.
2. I Am Entitled to Life!
Entitlement is the language of the American people, which is what makes the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence dangerous documents when it comes to spirituality. Should we be able to connect something we want to the seemingly indisputable three rights of human beings, then how could our desires possibly be wrong? It's a dangerous arrogance, especially when we operated under the belief that God's definition of these virtues is the same for the American people. Does God want us to have a long, prosperous life? Of course—but not for ourselves. We are to "be sure to fear the LORD and serve Him faithfully with all [our] heart; consider what great things he has done for [us]. Our lives are not our own; we are meant to serve the beautiful and benevolent God of our ancestors, but to serve, especially in the history of America carries the sour taste of slavery.
3. I Have the Right to Liberty!
America is all about freedom. It's our punch line, and can be a very good thing for those in the world unfortunate enough to need protection from their own governments. We've all seen the blessings that come from people having the opportunity to better themselves, and the consequences when freedom is slung around so much, its meaning becomes less important than the idea of it. America wants freedom to indulge his whims and fly in the face of decency; neighbors tell the other, "don't tell me what to do," "you can't make me," "mind your own business." We liberate ourselves from what we don't like, and toss ourselves into the thralls of our flesh and fragmented fantasies. We want to live without rules, and too often, God is seen as the guy with too many rules. God does not want us to be free, we think, when God has the opposite in mind. He created us with the freedom of choice long before the Constitution or declaration was drafted, mandating not that we be slaves but that we use freedom to serve the God who loves us unconditionally. He says, "Brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love (Gal 5:13)." Service to God IS liberation.
4. I Have the Right to the Pursuit of Happiness!
As for the pursuit of happiness, it's been established that no one can be stopped from pursuing anything, not by God's hand anyway, yet the meaning appears to be lost regardless. In America, the pursuit of happiness exists only on paper; in the minds of the people the statement is amended to the implement of happiness. I don't have the right to try to be happy. I have the right to BE happy, they believe, and of course, man wants to be happy everyday of his life. This becomes especially dangerous in times when pleasure is notably convenient like America, and can hinder a persons' readiness to accept Christ. Psalms 34:4 says "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart," but elsewhere specifies that your delight should be "inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed (1 Pet. 4:13)." Following Christ involves suffering, taking up your own cross and doing plenty of other things difficult for a sinful creature to do: have patience, have faith, have diligence, none of which are bad but can make us very angst to get back being "happy".
All four of these tabs have manifested themselves in my journey to Christ. I'm sure everyone must experience it around the world, but looking at my own hometown, I thought it necessary to find out just how much an influence could be being made on my spirituality considering the say it seems to have in every other aspect of my life. None of these points are to say that God does not care about my feelings; my wants matter, just not in the way my country has taught me. I can't have faith in God my way. I can't demand God to change who He is to make life easier for me. God is not going to give me everything I want. But He will give me everything I need, and along the way, maybe I'll wind up wanting things I never knew I wanted.
