In my 19 years of life, there is nothing I have grown more tired of hearing than, "I can't believe so-and-so is dating someone when I've still never had a boyfriend," "How come boys don't do that for me?" "Is it too much to ask for someone to date me already?" and so on. This may be news to some people, but as it turns out, relationships aren't everything.
I'm not saying you shouldn't date someone if you truly want to be with them, but I'm tired of seeing the idea of being in a relationship put on a pedestal like it's the only thing a girl can hope to have achieved by the time she's 18 or 19. There is more to strive for in life than just a picture of a boy holding your hand to put on VSCO or a person to take candids of you ice skating in the winter.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not some strictly anti-relationship person. I didn't write this piece to bash my exes or make my past relationships out to be some huge waste of time that everyone would do better to avoid. I wrote this piece to affirm the fact that it is OK to be alone, and beyond that, there is something to be respected about being alone.
Relationships can be great, but there is something to be respected about the person who doesn't feel the need to constantly jump from relationship to relationship without spending any time on their own. There is something to be respected about the person who doesn't rely on others for validation or self-worth but is confident enough to be a person without the label of a relationship. There is something to be respected about the person who can spend time alone and be content that way regardless of anyone else's opinion.
There seems to be some sort of stigma around being single in today's society. Everyone is labeled "recently single" or "single but looking for a relationship" or even "single but destined to be forever alone," but rarely is anyone just single and happy that way. Again, I'll reaffirm my point: there is nothing wrong with being alone. You learn to appreciate yourself more when you aren't constantly focused on someone else's opinion of you. It's easier to prioritize what you want to do and what you care about when you aren't busy putting someone else's agenda before your own. It's not a bad thing to put your energy into your health and desires rather than sacrificing all your time and energy to another person.
Being alone is not a bad thing. I have come to appreciate the version of myself I find when I spend time alone. I spend more time running, I spend more time writing, I spend more time reading, I spend more time doing the things I care about. I don't blow off my friends, and I hang out with my sister who never fails to ask me to play with her at 4:00 pm daily and cheers when I'm actually free. I see my grandparents more, and I play cards with my dad when he gets home from a long day of work. When I have the day off from work I can actually have the day off, but when it's 1 a.m. and I want to get Steak-n-Shake with friends, there's nothing stopping me from going.
I can actually engage in conversations with my friends because I'm not constantly looking at my phone waiting for someone else to respond to me. I spend less time filming moments for Snapchat and planning my social events around Instagram pictures and actually pay attention to the people I'm with. Spending time focusing on yourself without a significant other doesn't have to be a bad thing.
So yes, relationships can be healthy and yes, and you could easily be happy while in a relationship, but that shouldn't be the only thing you're striving for when you're only 18 or 19 years old. Spend some time alone for once; being single isn't a bad thing.
