The A word is scary. As a child there comes a sense of urgency. We all want to be 18, legal and free. We think it’ll be the greatest and most liberating year of our lives. Although being 18 is liberating, once you get to that point in your life you want to backtrack, stop everything and relive the days for which you had not a single care in the world. I guess I’m at the point in my life where I have to make all the decisions myself, whether they concern my future or things like managing my bank account.
These decisions are insanely scary and have an immediate impact on me. I somehow skipped the tutorial and I’m just sort of running without any direction. The one thing I know for sure is that I miss my youth and I’ll need more than just a “self-help” book to help me get through the early stages of my adulthood.
At the tender age of 18, I want to do and see everything. With all this newfound freedom, I most likely will. It’s crazy to think that just a couple of months ago I was graduating from high school insanely excited to start a new life for myself. I originally walked into college certain of what I wanted and with a mapped-out plan of my future. Eventually, I became more aware of what I really wanted. This is the moment that I truly became an adult, self-aware and capable of making my own life decisions (sometimes).
I have absolutely no idea what I want to do in my future. I’m constantly trying new things and each experience changes my outlook on life. I’ve always had these preconceived notions that adults knew what they wanted, how to achieve their goals, and how to conquer every obstacle they faced. Adults seemed to have their shit together. I’ve learned that that’s far from the truth.
Adulthood is far from easy and that’s the harsh reality. As adults we realize we can no longer do the wild things we would have done as children; our lives have much more value to them. We lose touch with the people who we once thought were a big part of our lives. We completely change and immediately embrace our newfound interests. We seem to lose time, the world will never stop for us, everything moves quickly and we just have to keep up with the flow.
Although nothing is no longer easy, we get to build a life for ourselves. No matter how much stress comes along with being an adult, life is absolutely awesome. You have the ability to come and go as you please, you’re in complete control of where you go and when you return. There’s no judgment from your parents or anyone else around you. It’s completely normal to eat tubs of ice cream at 1 a.m. in your bed, at this point nobody can stop you. There comes a sense of maturity and with that comes respect from others. We’re taken much more seriously and finally our voices are heard.
There are always going to be ups and downs through this phase we call “adulthood.” I would always tell my mom, “I know what I’m doing, I’m almost an adult.” She would sarcastically reply, “18 doesn’t mean you’re an adult.” She was completely right, I’m still trying to figure out how this whole “adult” thing really works. There’s no surprise that I still make a fool of myself and I still call my mom to get her opinion.
It’s scary that at this point in my life there’s no going back. As time flies by I’ll only get wiser, older and I'll start to wrinkle. From time to time I dream of what my life will look like once I reach my 50s. But for now I live in the moment, in the early stage of adulthood. This stage will probably be one of the most complicated, most adventurous and wildest chapters of my life (cheers to being 18).
