1. It is okay to sometimes wish you were not a multiple.
Growing up as a multiple brought many obstacles, some you were not aware of.
Time and time again we as multiples had issues that our single-born friends never had to deal with. I wouldn't call it jealousy, I would just say it would be nice to know life as a single individual. Wishing that you were born on a different day does not mean you wish your siblings did not exist, so do not ever let anyone tell you that.
2. You are an individual.
Yes, we shared a womb, and yes, most people know us as a group, however, we are our own people.
For most multiples, it is difficult to not introduce ourselves as so. Instead of being known as "Anna, the orientation leader," or "Kaitlyn, the rugby player," we are automatically known as "the multiple." For my case, I'm a triplet. For most, it's twins and, on rare occasions, I am sure you hear other variations of multiples as well.
Being a multiple is not who we are, it is just something we are.
3. Always having a go-to fun fact.
Every first day of school, every open discussion, and every job interview, we are lucky enough to be born with a fun fact. On the first day of my sophomore fall semester, we were doing the dreaded "go around the room and state your name, major, and a fun fact," or an "icebreaker" if you will.
In every class, I said, "My name is Molly, my major is undecided, and I am a triplet." It wasn't until my last class that I got a kick out of the repetitive icebreakers.
One girl said her name, major, and said she was a twin, and the guy behind her thought he could one-up her by saying his name, major and that he was an identical twin. I giggled silently and just thought "wait for it, I got both of you beat." Although it was funny that we were having little multiple comparisons, it is not surprising that every one of us used that as our go-to fun fact.
Why search for one when you are born with one?
4. Sharing friends sucks but it is inevitable.
For as long as I can remember "sharing friends" has been a term in my household. Yes, I am aware that friends are not property, but if you are a multiple I am sure you would understand.
Each multiple has their own friends.
In my household you are known as "Anna's friend," "Kaitlyn's friend," or "Molly's friend," that is just the way it has always been. As a kid it was hard to understand that my friends wanted to hang out with my sisters too, even now that is sometimes a difficult concept to grasp.
Nonetheless, I have come to appreciate the group hangouts where we can all go to Applebee's, our local diner, or even just gather in the living room. The friends that love your siblings as their own are people you want to keep around.
Just because they want to hang out with your other multiples does not mean they like them better, it simply means they have made a friend in them too and that is okay.
5. Whether you take advantage of it or not, your multiples are your forever friends.
No matter how angry or frustrated your multiples make you, they will always be the first to support you when things are not okay.
Sometimes it is hard to recognize that, but we have been gifted with best friends for life. Throughout childhood and teenage years, friends often come and go, there are fights and falling outs over and over again, but the one thing that stays the same through all of that is who you have standing next to you enduring it all by your side.
You don't make cereal forts with your friends at breakfast every Saturday morning or play Mario Kart on your DS' every night with your friends, you don't say goodnight and good morning every day either. There are specific memories that you share with only your siblings, memories from the age of 5 until the present.
You know what they say, womb to tomb, cheesy but so true.
6. Experiencing life at a different pace than your multiple is okay.
From personal experience, I have put this unnecessary pressure on myself to go through life at the same time as my multiples. Not one person in my life has ever verbally said it needs to be that way, so I essentially created this struggle for myself.
Over time I have come to the conclusion that just because we were born at the same time, does not mean that everything after that needs to occur at the same time as well. It is completely normal to go through life at a different pace, in fact, it should be encouraged.
7. Telepathy is a thing, do not let anyone convince you otherwise.
People ask me all the time "Do you guys have twin telepathy or triplet telepathy?" And when they say that, they are usually joking, little do they know this is 100% a thing.
Now I do not have scientific evidence to back this up, but I do have personal experience that has convinced me of this opinion. While sitting in silence, my sister and I will start singing the exact same song at the same time or even interrupt a conversation with the same sentence.
Time and time again little situations will occur that prove telepathy is real, and every single time my sisters and I still freak out when it happens.
8. Your parents love you each equally.
Despite how often someone will say, "he/she is the favorite," we all know it is not true.
As an immature kid, it was easy to accuse your parents of loving on multiple more than the other, and maybe even be convinced of that. I promise you, it is impossible for your parents to love one multiple more than the other.
They notice the diversity each of you has and acknowledge the vast differences that make you individuals. You can constantly use the petty comeback stating that one multiple is loved more than the other, but I can assure you your parents completely disagree, and they may even be offended by that even if they don't say it.
Giving birth to multiples creates an overwhelming amount of love that your parents will never run out of, do not forget that.
9. Just because your multiple is in a relationship does not mean you have been replaced.
When the dreaded time comes where you are now left hanging as your multiple experiences love and relationships, it is important to remember that their significant other is not replacing you. Their boyfriend/girlfriend play a whole different role in their life and will never serve the same purpose as you do.
As your relationship with your multiple is subject to change, it is crucial to know they still love you just the same, and you are not being forgotten about. Instead of being anxious that you are now pushed to the side, cherish the newfound happiness that your multiple is now experiencing.
The bond between multiples can never be replaced, not by a friend, significant other, or anyone. You will always be their go-to.
10. Defend in public, confront in private.
I am so guilty of ignoring this rule, as a multiple this is essential. My sisters and I have had many arguments in front of family, peers, and even strangers.
Even if you think your multiple is wrong, stick up for them. Do not let any outsiders believe that you are not there for your sibling. It does not matter how much you disagree with them, if you show others that you are okay with treating your multiple poorly, they will believe that it is okay.
I cannot express to you the number of times people have said bad things about my multiples to my face. In the past, I was guilty of agreeing or dismissing what they had said, but not now. My multiples are the first to defend me, and I will always be the first to defend them.
If you truly disagree with what the issue is, wait until it is just you two to explain your opinion, sticking together in controversy is crucial.
