Nobody's life is perfect. Pictures can be flawless or the absolute worst quality but that doesn’t mean we have reason to judge some by what they choose to show. True humility is showing weakness, yes. It is okay to occasionally let your feelings show. Yet real maturity is in the positivity a person chooses to show before claiming to be perfect. Positivity and perfection are too often seen as the same thing. Claiming to be perfect is what you see in a person one on one, not media. So many are quick to use media as a platform for judgement. Well that’s their own decision and if the choose to react with negativity on a certain subject or even posting indirectly about another reflects terribly on their character. What kind of person would know someone genuinely but then down the road completely disregard what your spirit told you about that person because of something you saw on their media? That is the power of judgement that you are personally giving Satan to use over you via media. It's a screen people. Not a human body, voice, spirit or a god. Media messes with everyone more than it benefits us individually but it can help others if used in a more mature way. Such as the purpose behind your words or images. It should be used to a positive advantage before posting just to get a response rated at the level you wanted. Too many people post and judge even themselves because the reaction didn't fulfill them. Well, if what you posted was meant for someone else and you only got 2 likes, then you posted for the right reason. Because it helped those two people.

People watch others nowadays on the internet. It's basically like a high school hallway and bulletin board. You build a reputation by how you represent yourself. By building the right one, you will get responses you never imagined behind the scenes. In messages or texts... not just the likes or comments. That will come from being yourself and nobody else. The individual God made you to be proud of. The hundreds of likes and public compliments shouldn't have to mean anything to you. You don't need it. You are your own judge and God will only know the truth behind everything you do. The judging from people around us will never stop, nor can it be controlled, but you can control what you choose to see in others. If you cant handle that then you shouldn’t be online in the first place.

From my own experience on this subject I went through a couple phases.

The first stage is what I'd call the misplacement phase. What I mean by that is that when seasons change in a woman's life, she feel misplaced. I had just gotten married Valentines Day of 2014, currently working 5 jobs and dancing professionally for the NBA. I was the ultimate energizer bunny. Then life just hit me with all sorts of adjustments that I was truthfully mentally aware of would occur but as the process started, I was not emotionally or spiritually prepared. I just went from being an individual completely responsible for my own life with a dance profession and others jobs to the role as a wife. I had complete name change overnight, a joint bank account, an identity crossover from an independent living individual to a spouse that her life now reflected not just on herself but her husband as well. We became one in Gods eyes. After our first few months of marriage God put on my husband and I's hearts for me to stay home. I also wasn't spiritually ready for that either and ended up going into a depression. But because we serve a loving Lord and Savior, He knew what He was doing. He knew I needed rest and healing from my past that I wasn't aware of myself. It is truly incredible how well our God knows us better than we know ourselves. So putting aside the newlywed financial struggles, God took care of us because we honored Him first. It wasn't about the money or needing everything to live that fairytale domestic life. I needed time to enjoy my time off from everything and soak up all the love my husband had for me.

While the next 2 years of our marriage passed me by, I began to feel a sudden push to prepare spiritually and physically for what God has for me. This would be the second stage which I call my preparation phase. I know God has a unique ministry and calling for my life but it requires me to prepare differently than most in this day and age would find hard to understand. After praying with my husband we felt the call for me to stay at home so I can focus solely on His word and become a stronger Woman of God, a loving wife who builds her home such as what He calls many Christian women to do in general. In my case, it became my 24/7 job. Now you should know that whenever you try to make progress or a change in life, you will always face obstacles and set backs. Those are hurdles you have to pass through to get where you are going. There will always be another one to prepare for in the future too. The idea is to stay strong in His Word and faithful that a blessing is waiting for you in the end. For myself at the moment, my hurdle is overcoming my anxiety and depressing thoughts. The Devil is constantly at work trying to distract us from where we need to go.

Something a lot of people don't realize is that whenever you are unique in your style of living or the way you exercise your faith, your own personal calling from God... Etc. There will always undoubtedly be haters. God has blessed Danny & I tremendously because of the way we love each other and the order we live our lives which is by this exact order. We put God first, marriage second then our work. Whenever something tries to come between that order, it is really easy to let the flesh take control bringing in negative thoughts or let people who tear you down get to you. But our God is above it all. There is a quote that has stuck with me since I was a young girl and anytime I have found myself in a situation where I feel like Satan is tempting me to lose control, I remember it. It's about pride verses humility. "Pride cares what people think, humility cares what God thinks." Listen people, whatever status you hold in this life means nothing to Him. What God cares about is how you uphold yourself in a situation, continue to focus on what He has called you to do and to influence others by example, not force. Your bank account doesn't describe you or make you unequal to anybody else. Your sins shouldn't hold you back or make you embarrassed when you are forgiven and have asked God to be your living Lord and Savoir. Our experiences are all unique and are not meant to be kept to ourselves, they are meant to be testimonies that are shared in order to change someone's life for the better. There is nothing to be ashamed of because God loves you. Their are people that also love you whether you notice it or not, Do not expect for people to please you either. Let it go and please God. It is only up to you to let your heart harden towards one another. The easiest thing to do is pray, find a distraction and focus on how that problem is actually benefitting your relationship with God. You do not just have a reputation on earth formed by others opinions. You have a reputation with God. Ponder on that one.

So I am never one to express why I do what I do because my confidence in my purpose is strong enough with where I stand in my relationship with God. BUT just like many others, I get haters everyday. Although the funny thing is that I get triple the amount of positive feedback compared to the negative because I'm doing what I know I'm called to do. I could careless about who disagrees, they have no hold on my heart, my marriage, my life or future. Now I have chosen a few small messages as examples of what I do receive daily and here are a few real examples following this paragraph.

"Hey Kendra... It seems whenever you put your Christian views on social media everyone wants to judge and throw the bible in your face; and that's wrong and not very Christian of them...Some people are just more comfortable in their bodies than others are. It doesn't make you a hypocrite or a bad Christian it makes you human. I admire the support you and your husband have for one another. Don't let the comments from small minded people get to you... As long as you have the support of your husband then no one else's opinions matter..." - Kariann

"Hi Kendra! We really don't know each other...! I'm 16, in high school..I follow you on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. I see your posts, read your statuses, look at your pictures, and read your articles from the Odyssey. I just think that you are amazing! You are very beautiful!!! 😊 Your weight loss journey and your love for God is so inspiring. I'm someone that struggles with confidence and living my life for the glory of God. To see your posts about your journey and struggles in life is really encouraging to me! So thank you for being such an inspiring woman and being open about overcoming your obstacles in life! 💕 Your dogs are so cute and your makeup skills are amazing!" - Mattie

"Okay sorry for being totally creepy, I don't know when or why we became friends on Facebook, but I absolutely LOVE seeing pictures of your precious little family! Yall are truly relationship goals! And not even on knowing you I can definitely say I admire you and look up to you as a woman of God. Anyways I just felt like I needed to tell you that. Keep doing you girl! And have a great day!" - Chosen to remain anonymous

See, it isn't about what people think or how many haters you have. It is about your heart towards everything and only God knows the truth hidden behind it all. So quit the judgement on others or even on yourself because nobody is perfect and not one person has the right to hate or spread hate about another. Especially if they are just going off what somebody else said. Who cares??? God doesn't and clearly I do not nor does my husband. It is best to just say nothing at all. Nothing negative is worth entertaining or arguing about. Let that person deal with their feelings alone however they choose to then walk away in forgiveness. You're not going to change anyone with back and forth pointless commentary that will go in circles. You're only going to hurt them or make it worse. Hurtful people, hurt people. Jealous people pry for a reaction. Guilty people constantly try to fix things instead of letting it go and prideful people prop themselves up on their own pedestal. It's called the battlefield of the mind (Which just so happens to be the title of one of favorite books that also comes with a devotional by Joyce Meyer that I highly recommend; https://www.christianbook.com/battlefield-the-mind...). So listen up, you are the only person that allows words from the devil enter in or let him control your flesh but we also have a spirit inside our bodies that gives us life from our only Creator. You have the ability to choose to let Him fill your heart, spirit, soul, body and give you the mind of Christ. I bet you'll find a lot more happiness there than wasting your time focusing on what truly doesn't affect your calling. Be someone God would be proud of instead of making yourself feel accomplished by works generated from only trying to be successful. God will reward you in more ways than you can imagine just by putting Him first.