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On Behalf Of All Short Girls, Let Me Just Say, My Height Isn't Your Icebreaker

I've heard it all.

Rheo Kate Aguilar

Feb 17, 2020

The State University of New York at Stony Brook

On Behalf Of All Short Girls, Let Me Just Say, My Height Isn't Your Icebreaker

Unsplash

I'm short, and no, not 5'2 or 5'3 short. I'm short-short. Standing at a proud 4'9", I have become the victim of excessive short jokes and banter to the point that I've probably heard them all.

1. "You're short."

https://unsplash.com/photos/jQ2_DWnIX7Y

Wow, thanks! Your observation skills are truly impeccable! I almost forgot about my height! I mean, it's not like I've been hearing that same phrase my entire life, and it's not like I've been straining my neck to talk to you...

2. "Are you... like a dwarf or a midget or something?"

https://unsplash.com/photos/Kz9-JcSo7Zg

Fun fact: the maximum height for legal dwarfism is 4'10", so yes, technically. While I don't have any conditions stunting my height, I am legally considered to be disabled, I guess. (Does this mean I can apply for a disability pass?)

3. "I thought you were still in high school or at least a freshman!"

https://unsplash.com/photos/O0T1SIgHAfM

Does my height really skew your perception of my age that much? I know I have those youthful Asian genes, but I'm pretty sure I look at least my age with makeup on.

4. "Do you use a pillow to boost your seat up while driving?"

https://unsplash.com/photos/hi1Iq4x_ldM

Uh... last time I checked... no? I don't think I do?

5. "I'm SO glad someone is shorter than me!" Or alternatively, "You make me feel SO tall!"

https://unsplash.com/photos/GobsYxc_H_0

Glad I could be of use for boosting your ego. Empowerment, by making someone else feel inferior, am I right?

6. "You're so small and cute!"

https://unsplash.com/photos/iJ9o00UeAWk

Okay, now I know the phrase "I'm baby" has recently been growing popularity in its use, and even though I like using it as much as the next basic girl out there, I'm so tired of being treated like a baby and called cute because of my height. Please don't baby me. I'm not a small animal or a child.

7. "Bet you can't reach this."

https://unsplash.com/photos/QAX5Ylx-lKo

Unless you're over six feet tall, I have a great vertical, thank you very much. Please stop holding things over my head and forcing me to jump to get the items you're keeping away from me.

8. "How's the weather down there?"

https://unsplash.com/photos/XkuH0Ar5mhA

Overused. Thank u, next.

9. "I'm so sorry! I didn't see you!"

https://unsplash.com/photos/97R5c0lXUK0

Honestly, I can't even get mad at people for this. I'm short. I can't really blame them when I'm not in their line of sight, but that doesn't make it any less annoying when someone either crashes into me or unknowingly ignores me when I'm trying to get their attention.

10. "You're so lucky! Every guy is taller than you!"

https://unsplash.com/photos/BcVvVvqiCGA

Since when was it a standard to date taller guys? Just date a man that loves you instead of putting a restriction on yourself!

That being said, I really don't care about my height. I've learned to live with it and love myself, and if I can do that, you can spare me the pain of hearing overused and unoriginal short jokes and comments.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

On Behalf Of All Short Girls, Let Me Just Say, My Height Isn't Your Icebreaker

I've heard it all.

1. "You're short."

2. "Are you... like a dwarf or a midget or something?"

3. "I thought you were still in high school or at least a freshman!"

4. "Do you use a pillow to boost your seat up while driving?"

5. "I'm SO glad someone is shorter than me!" Or alternatively, "You make me feel SO tall!"

6. "You're so small and cute!"

7. "Bet you can't reach this."

8. "How's the weather down there?"

9. "I'm so sorry! I didn't see you!"

10. "You're so lucky! Every guy is taller than you!"

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The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

1. When you get your acceptance letter

2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works

3. When it’s move in day

4. When you arrive on campus and see all of the attractive people

5. FROG Week

6. When you find your squad

7. When you visit DHall (RIP) or EHall for the first time

8. When you take on way too many credits

9. When you go to your first party at JMU

10. When the rival school shows up for the homecoming game (or any game really)

11. Sunday Brunch

12. When you see the infamous “preacher” for the first time

13. The first snow day

14. Madipalooza

15. When finals week rolls around

16. When you have to say goodbye

17. And when you finally get to go back

Do you have a small get-together or throw a big bash?

1. Your family and friends ask what you want for your birthday, so you give them a list of options.

2. You're super excited about your birthday the week before.

3. Your family flies in town to celebrate with you.

4. Your siblings wake you up.

5. Your friends are so excited to be with you on your big day.

6. If you work, your office might throw a party for you.

7. For your actual party, you plan a small get-together with close family and friends ...

8. ... or large celebration with everyone you know.

9. You eat the best meal you've had in weeks.

10. You devour the first piece of cake proudly.

11. You embarrass yourself somehow.

12. You get the present you really wanted but thought no one would get you.

13. You are a little sad about getting older.

14. That feeling wears off and you realize how happy you are to have family and friends to celebrate this day with you.

15. The morning after your birthday looks something like this.

Syllabus week doesn't exist.

You can forget to breathe OR to buy fruit OR to even pet a dog but you cannot forget these things!!

All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

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