I'm short, and no, not 5'2 or 5'3 short. I'm short-short. Standing at a proud 4'9", I have become the victim of excessive short jokes and banter to the point that I've probably heard them all.
1. "You're short."
https://unsplash.com/photos/jQ2_DWnIX7Y
Wow, thanks! Your observation skills are truly impeccable! I almost forgot about my height! I mean, it's not like I've been hearing that same phrase my entire life, and it's not like I've been straining my neck to talk to you...
2. "Are you... like a dwarf or a midget or something?"
https://unsplash.com/photos/Kz9-JcSo7Zg
Fun fact: the maximum height for legal dwarfism is 4'10", so yes, technically. While I don't have any conditions stunting my height, I am legally considered to be disabled, I guess. (Does this mean I can apply for a disability pass?)
3. "I thought you were still in high school or at least a freshman!"
https://unsplash.com/photos/O0T1SIgHAfM
Does my height really skew your perception of my age that much? I know I have those youthful Asian genes, but I'm pretty sure I look at least my age with makeup on.
4. "Do you use a pillow to boost your seat up while driving?"
https://unsplash.com/photos/hi1Iq4x_ldM
Uh... last time I checked... no? I don't think I do?
5. "I'm SO glad someone is shorter than me!" Or alternatively, "You make me feel SO tall!"
https://unsplash.com/photos/GobsYxc_H_0
Glad I could be of use for boosting your ego. Empowerment, by making someone else feel inferior, am I right?
6. "You're so small and cute!"
https://unsplash.com/photos/iJ9o00UeAWk
Okay, now I know the phrase "I'm baby" has recently been growing popularity in its use, and even though I like using it as much as the next basic girl out there, I'm so tired of being treated like a baby and called cute because of my height. Please don't baby me. I'm not a small animal or a child.
7. "Bet you can't reach this."
https://unsplash.com/photos/QAX5Ylx-lKo
Unless you're over six feet tall, I have a great vertical, thank you very much. Please stop holding things over my head and forcing me to jump to get the items you're keeping away from me.
8. "How's the weather down there?"
https://unsplash.com/photos/XkuH0Ar5mhA
Overused. Thank u, next.
9. "I'm so sorry! I didn't see you!"
https://unsplash.com/photos/97R5c0lXUK0
Honestly, I can't even get mad at people for this. I'm short. I can't really blame them when I'm not in their line of sight, but that doesn't make it any less annoying when someone either crashes into me or unknowingly ignores me when I'm trying to get their attention.
10. "You're so lucky! Every guy is taller than you!"
https://unsplash.com/photos/BcVvVvqiCGA
Since when was it a standard to date taller guys? Just date a man that loves you instead of putting a restriction on yourself!
That being said, I really don't care about my height. I've learned to live with it and love myself, and if I can do that, you can spare me the pain of hearing overused and unoriginal short jokes and comments.
