Don't Show Up In October
If you come to Munich in October expecting to be greeted by liters of beer and pretzels you will probably be disappointed. Sure Oktober is in the name, but Oktoberfest is almost completely in September. To beat some of the cold and rainy weather the festival was moved earlier in the year. So, come in September so you don't miss the fun.
Don't Show Up In The Afternoon
Oktoberfest can get insanely busy, especially on the weekends. Space is limited in the tents, so if you arrive too late you won't be getting a table. Believe it or not, a table is pretty important, with the exception of one tent, you won't be served any beer if you are standing. To put it in perspective, my friends and I got to Oktoberfest an hour early and were not the first in line. We got a table and within 10 minutes the entire tent was full to capacity.
Don't Wear A "Costume"
There is a big difference between traditional tracht (lederhosen and dirndls) and trachten you found in the costume section of a store. It looks very different and everyone can tell you are a tourist if you wear the cheap stuff. It's a lot more fun if you look the part even if it means spending a little more to get a high quality rental. That being said, wearing tracht isn't necessary to go to Oktoberfest. I didn't and still had a great time.
Don't Expect To Just Use A Credit Card
Not all tents accept card, those that do still won't appreciate your need to use plastic. There are no tabs here, you pay for each thing you get, a few beers and a pretzel later and your waitress will hate you if you use a credit card for all of it. Cash is king. Bring plenty because beers are around 11€ now and ATMs frequently run out of money at the fest.
Don't Stand On The Tables
Not only is it pretty dangerous to stand on a table while this intoxicated, it can also get you kicked out. Enjoy your beer a little closer to the ground. It okay to sing, dance, or stand in front of the bench, just don't get on the table. Generally speaking putting one foot on the table signifies you're are about to chug your entire beer. Make sure you can actually do it before you try this or it may result in 10,000 people booing at you.
Don't Come On An Empty Stomach
The beer at Oktoberfest is very strong, more so than a standard beer. It also comes in liters and no less. One beer will get you drunk and as with any drinking you shouldn't do it if you haven't eaten. We saw a lot, and I mean a lot, of people taken away on gurneys.It can happen when you don't act responsibly with so much beer. Just remember to buy a pretzel in the tent and seek out some water during the day and all should be fine.
Don't Be Afraid To Have Fun
Oktoberfest is a place where many different people come together to have a great time, so let yourself enjoy it. Forget about the small things and get into it.That might mean talking to strangers or singing songs in German that you have never heard before.