There's plenty to be nervous about before the start of college. Will you get along with your roommate? Will you ace your classes? Will you be homesick? However, when I first began getting butterflies about starting school it was about one thing only: dorm bathrooms.
How was I supposed to be comfortable giving up my luxurious private bathroom in favor of a public one with stalls?
Good news folks! I survived it, and now I'm here to share my tips. So, buckle your seat belts, here we go!
1. Invest in some travel sized room spray.
And bring it with you always. I learned if you cover your tracks with "vanilla and buttercream" scented aerosol nobody will actually mind that you, you know, used the bathroom. I recommend "Poo-Pourri" because it smells like a classy, Victorian home, but any old can of Fabreze works just as well.
2. Try out different times of the day.
When nature calls sometimes you have to answer, but if it can leave a message it's worth it to test the busyness of the bathroom. I've found that certain times of the day the dorm is basically empty, and you can find privacy then. Nobody can shame you for sitting on the toilet playing iPhone games for an hour if nobody sees you to begin with.
3. Find an even better bathroom.
The bonus about going to a college on a campus is that there's more than one bathroom (I hope) that's available to you. If your concern is anonymity then this is a solid route to go. Pick a random bathroom and see how you like it. Eventually you're bound to find one off the beaten path; it'll almost be like that private bathroom at home!
4. Invest in baby wipes, it's the new thing.
But seriously, college students (especially ladies) have a big thing for baby wipes. They're multipurpose (easy dorm wipe down, dry shower, lazy day makeup remover and "down there" cleanser) and relatively cheap when you buy in bulk from places like Costco or Sam's Club. Keep it clean, folks!
5. Go when someone is showering.
In a spacious, public dorm bathroom things can get awkward quickly. Unfortunately, it always seems that empty bathrooms have the best acoustics (and that's no good if you're a shy pooper). Nobody wants to disturb the peace, but with no fan or elevator music to mask the act your cover can get blown. However, the noise of a shower is sometimes the best solution you can hope for. Thus, you maintain your shroud of secrecy.
6. Throw a magical handful of toilet paper down before the act.
If it's noise you fear then this is the solution for you. A layer of toilet paper is the perfect defense against that pesky "plop." You know how stuntmen have those giant air cushions to land on? Think of that, but for your personal sanity in the restroom.
7. Let that fear go!
Eventually you'll learn that nobody cares and everyone poops. It happens! Stay confident and be proud. At least you know your body is doing its job!
