Beginnings are beautiful. The music scores up and the credits begin and we open usually on a story already in progress. "Once upon a time..." they begin and we prepare ourselves for the magic to unfold. I'd always liked beginnings. The excitement and the thrill of what might be to come drew me in every time, intoxicated by the endless possibilities ahead. The only problem I'd ever had with beginnings, was the inevitability of an ending. I think it's why I always loved series of things, I had too hard of a time picturing the story being over. I have always taken endings hard, even though they were a sign of a new beginning about to start, even before I knew it.
I've experienced many beginnings before. I craved and savored them each one more than the last. I had trumped up romantic notions and metaphors about every man I’d ever cared about, however fleeting. I was an expert on emotion, on flowery language that explained matters of the heart in terms of fires and rivers and homes. You name it and I’ve experienced it. I lived the "once upon a time" moments many times over until I believed each story was the same. I thought it all would be the same. But then there was you. You have rendered me speechless. I won’t degrade my feelings for you by comparing them to a spark or a flame or the depth of the ocean. I won’t explain away the unexplainable with something common or tangible, not this time.
What I’m feeling isn’t that easily described. I can’t neatly explain it away and put in a box marked “things boys have made me feel before” like the others have. I used to compare them. “This one was wild and this one was tame” “this one was young and stupid love, and this one was stern and serious.” I thought that I could categorize these things for better analysis after they were over. I knew most of them would come to an end. But you have broken all of my molds. You have surprised me and thrilled me with your complexity and uniqueness. You are the one for which I am not looking for flaws. You are the one I won’t compare to anyone. I don’t know what you’ll be yet, but boy am I thrilled to find out. You are something else, and that’s exactly what I didn’t know I needed.
