When light and dark are indistinguishable,

you just keep living to keep living,

and dream and memory unidentifable.

Where am I?

Who am I?

Is this reality? My reality?

Told myself I have to do it alone.

No one else has let me know

it's safe to disclose.

These deep-seeded hurts

are too much to let go,

but too much to hold.

My shoulders aren't built for this weight.

Highs and lows

every day, every day.

I keep moving because it's all

I know

there's a light at the end,

just around the next bend.

Let me down slow

This reaity could be more

than I can accept right now.

Search, struggle, find,

fall, get up, rewind.

Back to the same old,

new year same mold.

But something tells me there's

still some gold

among this glitter, flicker and fold

another page, another year.

Another memory hard to bear.

But progress, regress, and progress,

two steps forward, only one back.

As my mind spills on the page

I'll still rage,

forgive, forget.

Doubt, remit, submit.

And I'll move on.

Ready to begin.

Again.