There’s no doubt that 2016 and 2017 have been politically frustrating for all parties and for all peoples.

Because of this I’ve seen multiple relationships fall apart. Friends no longer friends, family members disowning one another, the works. I often see people claiming they can’t be friends with people with different views. Especially my fellows on the left. I know many who told people that if they voted for Trump to unfriend them. To each their own, but it’s not impossible to be friends with someone who voted for your opposing party. I myself am a “left wing radical bra burning feminist” who hates Trump just as much as the next person, but I didn’t toss my friends who voted for him out the window. Was I happy that some of my friends voted for him? Of course not, but I’m not stupid. It’s their right to vote for whoever they please, as is mine. I know a bigot when I see one, and my friends who voted for Trump aren’t one. If they were I wouldn’t be friends with them to begin with. I don’t always agree with some of my friend’s opinions and views but that never stops us from being friends.

Politics can be a sensitive subject, and the way to keeping friendships whilst talking about politics is to keep feelings level and listen. Have an open mind. Civility is key. When my group of friends talk about politics or controversial topics we do so civilly. We’re a big group too, and we’re all over the political spectrum. Some of us are conservative while others are independent and liberal. The night of the election we all gathered in one room to watch the results. Some of us were of course devastated, it was a tough loss. Where everywhere else Trump voters rubbed it in the left’s face and said we had to deal with it, my friends in the room never did. They’re not assholes like that thankfully. We were all civil, and any time we talk politics we’re civil. It’s really not hard. And we love talking about politics. It was usually a dinner time event. Someone would ask what we thought of this topic and we’d all have a calm talk about it. Instead of saying that this is the right way to look at the topic each of us make it clear that, hey, this is how I feel and see the topic. It’s actually a learning experience. When my roommate talks about the importance of having correct representation and more POC in media, she did so calmly and expressed why she felt that way, and in doing so opened the eyes of another friend. We learn from one another, and get a different perspective each time someone voices their opinion. We all come very different upbringings and very different lives, yet we all became friends, and continue to be even when politics are thrown at us.

I know so many people who would probably look at me, someone who voted democrat, and ask, “How can you stay friends with a bigoted Trump supporter?” Thank you for asking. I don’t. You’re implying that my friends who voted Trump are racist, sexist, homophobic, the works. I get it. I don’t blame you because I too know that some Trump supporters are in fact that. However, I also know that not every Trump supporter is. My friends who voted Trump are far from bigots. They aren’t racist, they aren’t sexist, nor are they homophobic. If they were that’d be a problem seeing as though the other half of our friend group is queer and feminist. My friends, regardless of who they voted, are the most compassionate and caring group of people. They’ve been here for me and accepted and supported me through everything. Of course, I don’t agree with who they voted for but I don’t resent them. I don’t befriend bigots, and I’d know if they were. Together, we see our differences, and together we learn from one another. We ask inquisitive questions out of pure curiosity. We watch the news together and discuss the topics. We get a lot more done that way than say if we were constantly battling each other proclaiming we are right and they’re wrong.

You don’t have to agree with people. You can compromise and you can listen. You can be friends with people who voted differently than you, and you can be civil in talking about it. I know what you’re thinking. “But how can you ever be friends with someone who voted for a man who is against everything you believe in?” If I chose to unfriend everyone who voted for Trump, I wouldn’t have too many friends. I’d have to disown some of my family. I wouldn’t even have a boyfriend. I can be friends with them because I know who they voted for isn’t who they are as a person. That does not define them. How they act, how they’ve treated me, how they treat others, that’s what defines them. They’re amazing people and I know better than to think that I should remove such incredible, supportive, and caring people from my life. Differences aside for once. I’ll keep fighting for what I believe in. I’ll keep fighting the patriarchy and fighting for gay rights and for women’s rights and I’ll do whatever I can to be politically active. As is my right. As is their right to do the same just with different views. I know that, and it’s okay. I can be friends with people who have different political views because I know that together we stand and divided we fall. It’s better we come together with different views than to be divided by them. I compromise. I keep an open mind. I listen. It gets more done in the long run than constantly shutting them down and invalidating their beliefs. From the wise words of Martin Luther King, Jr., “We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.”