"We Just Don't Make Each Other Happy Anymore"
We both knew it would end that night. When you walk into my room, sit on my bed, crying, and ask me how I feel about the relationship, I know you want me to end it. Right there. But I don't. For months I've told you that I had lost hope in the relationship, but I kept going. I thought you would change and you told me you did. For better or for worse, I'm not sure. I didn't see a second of you trying to change. Between you pretending to be asleep when I wake up so I don't see you using your phone, and the double standards you held me to, it was hard to hope for the best.
But I tried. And you know I did. I went to therapy because I thought I was insane for feeling upset about things you did that made me uncomfortable. I kept trying to change you. I saw how you treated your mother and sister, and I told you that you should be nicer to them, to which you'd always respond "she's annoying", or "I didn't ask for a sister."
Your negativity took hold of me even before we dated. You always sought out the bad things in every situation, and so did I. You had no hope for things ever getting better in our relationship, the world, or anything, and neither did I. You made me the most anxious I've ever been and I can't just stop that now. I'm too far gone. And maybe if I would listened to my friends, I could have seen that and stopped it the first three months in instead of holding out hope.
The worst part about this is that I let you in for a year. I tried my hardest to be open and tell you about my feelings for a year, only to get shut down every time. You turned it against me every time and made me feel like I was crazy. And, actually, maybe I am for putting up with it for so long. You've had my back against the wall and I couldn't ever get comfortable.
It's funny that one of the last things you told me before I made you leave was "we just don't make each other happy anymore" - when you've truly never been happy with such a negative mindset. My hope for you is that you've actually changed. My hope is that you've seen that not everyone is you. My hope is that you start treating your mother and sister with respect in place of annoyance. My hope is that you learn to admit when you're wrong. My hope is that you stop being miserable and enjoy living.
I don't think I'll ever forgive you or want to talk to you again, but I hope that I've taught you something that will make you a better person.
