Beer Sucks | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

Beer Sucks

Drinking with Jake

508
Beer Sucks

Ah yes a Cold one, brewski, liquid courage, giggle water, Nectar from the gods, the list goes on and on.

But here’s the thing. BEER F**KING SUCKS! Ah and here come the responses: “BLASPHEMY!” “HERTIC!” “SHAME!” It feels like I’m walking through Kings Landing, naked with a bell and everyone screaming “SHAME”! Game of Thrones anyone?


I will not recant my statement beer is disgusting. The taste is bitter, the look has the appeal of sewer water and again the TASTE IS AWFUL. Now don’t get me wrong I can’t say ALL beer is gross I for one do enjoy --

Blue Moon Orange Flavor. (Probably not the name but that's what it is) You know why I enjoy Blue Moon Orange Flavor? Because it masks the taste of BEER! Flavored beer masks it’s bitterness, allows taste and textures to come through the disgusting bitterness that is beer. Blue Moon definitely knows what they're doing. A downright tasty beverage and if I was forced to [CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!] a brew I would pick this.


Here take a look at this drink:

LOOK AT IT!


Oh it's so sexy, sleek, beautiful, delicious, alluring and just makes you want to curl up on a couch and let her take you to magic land. Disaronno has a sweet vanilla taste that goes down smoother than a date on prom night. I can drink this STRAIGHT. I don’t have to force it down my throat, and I get an unbelievable warm feeling after just two drinks.

Want to guess what I get after two drinks of beer?

My belching technique is superb, my stomach feels like I’m in my 3rd trimester and my pee has the delicious aroma of urine and beer combined.

Now look I’m not on a high horse here. I enjoy tailgating, getting bleeped up at a bar and whoever prefers beer over liquor that’s perfectly fine. Honestly drink whatever you want to your hearts desire. I’m just saying if someone offers me a free beer I’ll kindly drink it. Sure I may make a squirmy face as if someone just put a worm in my drink but I’ll still drink it I’m not a total d!ck.

Now I may not prefer beer but I understand it’s place in the liquor world. It's introduced to freshmen at college, keg sales go up, and Homer Simpson wouldn't be Homer Simpson without it.


To alcohol the cause and solution to all of life's problems

At the bar when I see tons of beer available I’ll smirk and then ask the barkeep to get me a real drink.



Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

A Few Thoughts Every College Freshman Has

The transition into adulthood is never easy

13333
Mays Island
Courtney Jones

Today I started my third week of college at Minnesota State Moorhead. I have survived welcome week, finding my classes on the first day, and being an awkward loner in the dining hall. Even though I have yet to be here for a month, I have already experienced many thoughts and problems that only a new college student can relate to.

Keep Reading...Show less
college

"Make sure to get involved when you're in college!"

We've all heard some variation of this phrase, whether it came from parents, other family members, friends, RAs, or college-related articles. And, like many clichés, it's true for the most part. Getting involved during your college years can help you make friends, build your resume, and feel connected to your campus. However, these commitments can get stressful if you're dealing with personal issues, need to work, or aren't sure how to balance classes and everything else going on during the semester.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

9 Reasons Why Friends Are Essential In College

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

5850
Bridgaline Liberati and friends
Bridgaline Liberati

In college, one of the essential things to have is friends. Yes, textbooks, a laptop, and other school supplies are important but friends are essential. Friends are that support system everybody needs. The more friends you have the better the support system you have. But you also have someone to share experiences with. And don’t settle for just one or two friends because 8 out of 10 times they are busy and you are studying all alone. Or they have other friend groups that do not include you. Don’t settle for just one or two friends; make as many friends as you can. After the first couple of weeks of college, most friend groups are set and you may be without friends.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Power of Dressing Up

Why it pays to leave the hoodie at home.

4341
sneakers and heels
Sister | Brother Style - Word Press

For a moment your world is spinning. The phone alarm has just scared you awake and you’re flooded by daunting thoughts of the day ahead. You have three assignments due and little time to work on them because of your job. You’re running late because you’ve hit snooze one to many times after yesterday’s long hours. You dizzily reach for a hoodie, craving its comfort, and rush for a speedy exit, praying you will have time to pick up coffee. Does this sound familiar?

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

11 Signs You Live At The Library As Told by 'Parks And Recreation'

A few signs that you may live in the library whether you'd like to admit it or not.

3828
brown wooden book shelves with books

Finals week is upon us. It is a magical time of year during which college students everywhere flock to the library in attempt to learn a semester's worth of knowledge in only a week. For some students, it's their first time in the library all semester, maybe ever. Others have slaved away many nights under the fluorescent lights, and are slightly annoyed to find their study space being invaded by amateurs. While these newbies wander aimlessly around the first floor, hopelessly trying to find a table, the OGs of the library are already on the third floor long tables deep into their studies. Here is a few signs that you may live in the library, whether you'd like to admit it or not.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments