On any given day you can hear this phrase, or a variation of it. "I'm really just looking for the one", or "Could he/she be the one?" or "Why can't I find the one?". Ah, yes. "The one." Ever coveted, ever an enigma, this "one" seems to always be just beyond our reach.

After sitting at one too many brunches, sipping tea and scrolling through friends' Tinders (okay, yes, my own too), frantically searching for a soulmate with those super spectacular take-home-to-mom, sweep-me-off-my-feet characteristics, I realized something odd.

Everyone is searching for the one, but why can't we just become "the one?"

We search for the perfect qualities in others, because of course our significant other must be kind, smart, generous, loving, AND curating the cure for cancer.... you get the idea. Basically, they need to be saving kittens from trees and babies from burning buildings when they're not busy being a Noble Laureate who also happens to be a member of Mensa. But has anyone ever thought to take on those qualities themselves?

Would you marry you?

Chase your own goals, set your bar high, better yourself in any and all the ways you can. Be kinder than you have to be, help others without being asked, make everybody feel like a somebody, work hard and be passionate and goal driven. Strengthen all the qualities you seek in a partner within yourself. Every time you think of yourself, make sure that you can confidently say you are in love with who you are.

Take a look at nature, for example. The flower doesn't hope, search or beg for the bee. The flower blossoms and then the bee comes. So it is true with humans. So it is true with life.

Everything you seek is out there, yes, even Mr./Mrs. Right. But you can't be so hung up on Mr./Mrs that you forget about yourself. At the end of the day, you are your greatest priority. Self love is the only love from which all other love is born. Others cannot love you until you fully love yourself, just like how the bee won't come to the flower unless it is in full bloom.

So, take your time. Keep growing. Keep blooming. Blossom until you are so in love with life and yourself that you can then spread that love to others.

Be your own "one."