When I was eighteen years old I had never once tried on a pair of jeans, I had never worn makeup, I had never worn high heels. How crazy does it sound? Very I'm sure. But that was life. Clothes and fashion did not exist in my world. But it took me working in an high end retail shop for a few months before I decided I was completely in love with Fashion.
The first time I tried on jeans my first reaction was "I have a huge butt." It took a couple tries and I did have to learn how to jean wiggle but I soon realized that jeans were amazing. I could cross my legs, I could run and I could look like everyone else without drawing attention. Can you imagine how it would feel walking through the middle of a mall in a long skirt and long hair and no makeup? Everyone stares at you. You do get used to it somewhat but you can never completely ignore it.
I still remember the thought in my head, what happens if I try on these jeans, what will happen to me? Well I have not been struck dead and instead I am brave enough to speak out. Jeans made me brave but it was the makeup that made feel bad ass. They did indeed change my life forever but it was like setting a wild horse free into an open field with no fences. I ran with it..
Can you remember that one time you had your makeup professionally done and then you turn around to look in the mirror and you look at yourself and you feel beautiful? Thats how I felt every day when I would wake up and take at least an hour to make sure my makeup was perfect and then go to work at my job. All the years of my life this was wrong I shouldn't be beautiful and I shouldn't have pretty things because it would give men the wrong impression.
I can honestly tell you the days of my bowing my head away from men walking passed are completely over with. I understand now that I don't have to change who I am nor will I. If they look at me with thoughts in their head then they can change. Yes I have met the love of my life and he is my world but I am %100 feminist all the way. Don't like it then you don't have to read it.
Part of becoming normal I think was relizing that normal is completely over rated. Yeah wearing jeans, and makeup, and seriously a short dress for the first time was all tons of fun. But finding my own style of normal was the most fun. For the first time in my life I could shop in any store in the mall I wanted and I didn't need permission to wear something. even though My parents may not have liked my outfits always in this what I I would call a fashion learning curve, they let me be free to express myself. It took about two years, and maybe Im still working on that finding normal thing. But what I have found is a life I want . A life that I enjoy living. And that is normal enough for me.
