"According to the U.S. Census Bureau, out of 12 million single parent families in 2016, more than 80% were headed by single mothers."
I'm a part of that 80%, it's true.
I got pregnant at 19 and two weeks after my 20th birthday became a single mother. And I've been a single mother for the past 6 1/2 years.
This is the part where you roll you eyes <insert proverbial eye roll> because you've heard this sob story more times that you can count right? Teenage pregnancy, it's nothing new. In fact MTV kind of glorified the entire thing with their hit show "Teen Mom".
I wouldn't consider mine a sob story though, you see, I lay in the bed I made.
At 20yrs old I had to drastically change my life and grow up. My parents were there to support me every step of the way but as much as they loved me, they "weren't going to raise my son for me", to quote my mothers exact words.
If I wanted to make adult decisions, I had to step it up and be an adult. Which at 20, I very much wasn't. I didn't know the first thing about being a mother nor had I ever had the desire to learn.
I never wanted children.
Growing up there were never any day dreams about a perfect little house with a wraparound porch and little white picket fence with 2.5 children running around the lush green yard.
That just wasn't me.
I was a dreamer. A big dreamer. I wanted to pack a bag and travel around Europe. I wanted to go out for months working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean and experience all life had to offer. Children were the farthest thing from my mind, I didn't really like them honestly and I wasn't exactly what you'd call the "maternal type".
And then at 19 I let passion and being in love for the first time get the best of me, and ended up pregnant.
I couldn't believe it. I was in shock for at least a week, where I knew but didn't really think it was happening.
Had I really just ruined the rest of my life and all the plans that I had made? It all seemed like a dream.
But it wasn't, because 9 months later I was holding a wrinkly, cone headed, 7 lb. baby boy.
And my life and heart as I knew it changed in an instant.
I couldn't believe that one tiny little boy could make such a huge impact upon my life.
Selfish me now had someone else I had to put first. Someone else who mattered to me more than life itself.
It took me awhile to fully accept the way my life had changed. I rebelled against it, tried to ignore it and go on as I wanted to. Which is when my mother sat me down and uttered the words above, along with quite a few more.
And from that point forward, my dreams changed. I still had and currently have big dreams. There are still so many things I want to do and accomplish in my life, including all the traveling I dreamed of when I was younger. But it is no longer the first thing on my list.
Everything I do now has one thing in mind, my son.
It's crazy how one little person can change your entire life, but they can.
He changed mine.
He was the one thing I never wanted that I needed the most.
He is my world in the best way possible.
Before I never really had a purpose in my life, now I do. It's to be the best version of myself that I can be for him. To make sure that he is equipped with everything he needs to eventually go off on his own and succeed in life. To make sure he has everything he needs growing up, and not by just handing it to him on a silver platter. If I'm not the best I can be, I can't be the best mother for him. If I'm not always doing my best and giving it my all, how is he supposed to learn how to?
As we all know, children don't do as they're told they do as they see.
I can't sit here and tell you that being a single mother is easy, because it is far from it. I struggle more often than not, most days I feel as if I am failing and have no idea how I'm going to make it to the next.
But then those baby blue eyes land on mine and his little mouth utters the words " I love you momma" and the how ceases to matter, all I know is that I will wake up in the morning and give it everything I have.
Because my life isn't just about me any longer. I'm a mother, my life will never again just be about me. It'll always be about someone else before myself.
Before, I couldn't picture my life with a child in it. Now, I can't imagine my life without my son.
If you are a mother, you know what I mean.
Children may be small, but they change your world in the most extravagant and rewarding way.
I may be a statistic, one that people tend to look down upon or feel sorry for, but I wouldn't change the way my life has turned out thus far for anything.
Becoming a mother has changed my life in the most beautiful of ways. Becoming a single mother has taught me more about myself than I ever thought possible, it's taught me that no matter what comes may way, I'll survive.
XOXO
~Cassie Ann