I remember the feeling

Whenever I saw you in a crowd

Whenever I would hear your voice

That excitement in my chest

I still remember it

I remember the emotions

I remember the laughs

The short lived happiness that blinded me too well

Blinded be to the destruction

The slow deterioration you were bringing

To my confidence

To my self worth

To my trust

I never thought I would forget you

I never thought I'd forget the freckle on your cheek

The slight crookedness to your smile

The smell of you

But here I am

Finding myself asking "Who?" at the mention of your name

Not quite knowing whether that freckle was on the right cheek or the left

Finding what I had always hoped I'd find in "your smell"

Not the thought of you

But "clean"

I am now clean

Clean of the thought of you

The memory of you

And the strain of you

I am myself

And no longer yours

Because you never truly wanted me to begin with