There is nothing that I feel reflects the pangs of moving away from home as well as the legendary introduction to Katy Perry’s “Firework”. In those first days, especially the first-first day, it is truly difficult to refrain from feeling 'like a plastic bag'. Following months and sometimes years of pining for the sweet feeling of victory that would come as you shut the door on your apartment, house, or bungalow, the victory starts to feel a tad bittersweet and turning back seems all too easy.

Two years ago, I made the decision to move out of state to finish my undergraduate degree. Like the sensible human that she is, my mother urged me to consider remaining in my hometown a little longer and like the stubborn adventurer I am, I declined. I thought of all the times I would blame my inability to tap into my creative nerve on suburbia and started making plans. It was simple enough to find a place, start sorting out my clothes, and picking out which pots and pans I was going to claim as my own. It was even easy to pack my whole life into a friend’s car and find myself in a completely unfamiliar land.

Now almost three months after that fateful day and everything seems to be occurring as I had hoped it would. I have developed my own schedule complete with a job and copious amounts of time spent meal planning. The last couple hours of each of my days can be utilized for all the journaling that I have put off for years. No one is around to squash my dreams as I thought there was before. While I still remain accountable to my family, I have entered the realm of adulthood. However, I find myself burdened with uncertainty. The child-like confidence that I had when I sold my soul and signed my lease withered away and in its place is adult-like apprehension. I felt, and still feel, like I’m not sure what happens next. How am I going to ensure that I am staying grounded in myself when I don’t know who I am yet? What is the process to self-discovery? When I was in primary school, there was a natural progression to the events of my life and I never had to think too much because my whole life could be summed up on post-it note. Now, however, I am beginning the first chapter of the novel of my life and I have to make it count.

Now that the smallest hurdles are behind me, it is time to get my knees up a bit higher and start jumping over the higher ones. Although there are actual things that I know I have to do such as go to work, complete schoolwork in a timely manner, and fend for myself over all, I have to find ways to come to terms with the uncertainty. Occasionally I like to imagine how a baby looks out into the world and is fearless despite every thing and experience being completely new to them. I think it is time we all take on the world with such fresh eyes and eager hearts as we continue to write our own novels. It is time we all remember that we are fireworks and let our colors burst, but not in a combustible kind of way. Join me next time as we continue to figure out how to adult together.