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How To Become A Skilled Procrastinator

Procrastinating is a skilled profession you too can master.

Margaretta Peaches Sackor

Feb 20, 2017

Virginia Commonwealth University

104

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If you are currently reading this article, I bet you are avoiding doing something else. That's OK! That is one of the first steps to becoming a skilled procrastinator. If you are anything like me, you probably attended the job fair searching for wannabe procrastinators back in middle school. You have probably been harnessing your ability to avoid the important tasks awaiting completion. Most often, those tasks tend to be homework.

But if you are not, I am going to help you on this path of enlightenment. Let me inform you now - the possibilities are endless when you become dedicated to the life of a procrastinator. First off, you probably shouldn't finish reading this article. Put it off for another day - when you need to remember how to procrastinate. You know that artist that you've been thinking about all day? Now is a good time to spend about 30 minutes racking your brain trying to figure out their name and listening to some songs. Or that recipe you have been dying to try? Yeah, do it now.

You know that paper you have to write that is due in two weeks? Someone not as skilled as you might start gathering sources and putting together a draft. But you on the other hand, you know it is not urgent until the day before it is due. Or that book you have to read for class - a pro procrastinator knows how to SparkNotes the whole book to sound like an expert.

What makes a true procrastinator is the willingness to put aside important tasks and instead, waste time doing all the little things that do not matter. You finally take notice of how "messy" your desk is and feel the urge to clean it out right in the middle of your online homework.

Procrastinators take pride in the distractions surrounding them. They sit in the middle of Starbucks and take notice of every blender switch, every name called out, every card swipe, every latte ordered, and every reusable Starbucks cup bought.

Now, if you really want to take it to the next level, you must learn how avoid multiple tasks all at once - especially assignments due around the same time. Once you have mastered that final step, you will have become a professional procrastinator.

The great thing about procrastinators is their ability to create amazing work under high levels of pressure and stress. This will be your saving grace as you take on the role of a full fledged procrastinator. Before you start, take some time to procrastinate procrastinating. Enjoy your new lifestyle!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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How To Become A Skilled Procrastinator

Procrastinating is a skilled profession you too can master.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

You are fun, but firm.

"Getting drunk with your best friends is an experience in and of itself. It takes us on wild and ridiculous adventures with the people we trust with our lives."

The Mother Hen

The Instigator

The One Who Always Texts Her Ex

The Shakira

The Philosopher

The Reluctant Homebody

The MMA Fighter

The "I'm Not Even Drunk!" Girl

The Joey Tribbiani

The Horny Toad

The Aspiring Rapper

It's so rude that we have finals.

1. When you look at your finals schedule and become immediately overwhelmed:

2. When your professor says that the final is only going to be short answer questions:

3. When you text your parents to tell them that you're going to have a mental breakdown and drop out of college and they're just like:

4. When you're trying to study with friends, but then you realize that you haven't gotten anything done:

5. Then you just end up going on your phone.

6. When you're two weeks away from finals and your professor tells you that you should probably start studying now:

7. When you sit down to take your final and the first question hits you like:

8. When you start the practice problems and you're just like:

9. When you're in your final and find a question that you actually know the answer to:

10. When that one annoying kid in your class says that the final was super easy and they aced it:

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14. Filling out course evaluations for that one difficult professor like:

15. When it's right before your first final and you're just like:

16. When your professor tells that you the final is cumulative:

17. When the kid next to you keeps looking over at your test:

18. Looking back on the outfits that you wore during finals week like:

19. When it's been two hours and you've only gotten through five notecards:

20. When you finally make it to the end of the week:

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Every Saturday you will avoid doing homework like it is the plague. When Sunday rolls around you will complain that you have way too much stuff to do and not enough time to do it.

Your college experience is what you make of it.

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